I’ve spent the last few weeks mulling over whether I should go through my closet and reorganize what’s in there, hopefully to free up space but most specifically to transfer what’s in any cardboard boxes to some empty plastic boxes. I finally got to it yesterday.

I had pulled most of the boxes out, reorganized much of the closet, and was in the process of putting some boxes back that didn’t need attention when I suddenly felt a weird burning pain in my finger. I looked down and it was visibly swollen. The hell? I had just moved two particularly heavy boxes so maybe I hit my finger somehow… but I felt nothing unusual. This, naturally, freaked me out for a while until it was apparent something had happened to, I guess, a vein, and I was getting a bruise.

It hurt for a while. I used a cold pack then ice, which helped a lot. Eventually I slept and woke up with it a bit less swollen, a hell of a lot more purple (or blue/black/red), and only aching a bit save for one incident where I apparently hit the wrong spot and got an awful stinging pain. I can type now mainly because I’m used to letting the finger take a break as it’s the number one asshole when it comes to everyday pain and numbness (which makes me wonder if I missed a traumatic sensation and that’s why I got hurt). But the overcompensating that the hand is doing to keep my finger from touching anything is not a fun feeling.

I decided I couldn’t deal with half the boxes still out of the closet so I got back to work today and tried my best not to hit my finger. Moved a few things around and set aside a few more items and did a lot of busywork to get a few of the heavier boxes back in the closet. Still lots to do but what’s left makes sense at a glance and doesn’t feel wholly overwhelming like it did when I had to quit yesterday. Nice to only have one cardboard box left from when I first moved (though I think there’s a few small ones elsewhere, not needing to be dealt with just now).

I’ve also spent multiple hours in recent weeks shuffling around decorations and art. I finally got some posters on the wall after taking down other things. I was in a shitty headspace in 2024 and it bled into 2025 so small things like this just didn’t get done if they weren’t vital or in the way. But now posters are up and I get to mull over how it is that I’m me and like I am yet so much of what I own has the vibe of a 7 year old girl raised by hippies. To be fair, much of what I own literally comes from when I was young as I wasn’t doing too much purchasing of things besides music and clothes once I hit adulthood. But there’s a juxtaposition between my often gender-neutral, level-to-frustrated vibes and how much femme, semi-psychedelic, sparkly, and youthful stuff I have. I think people would more assume neutral to halloweeny decor. And it’s there, but it’s drowned out. I did, however, make a point not to have all black all the time as I find it boring to look at on a good day and think it contributes to depressive feelings on a day-to-day, at least personally. The aim was towards good feelings, hope, positive nostalgia, warmth, possibilities, growth, the future being seeded into reality. I don’t want to look at my space and think dungeon, hole to hide, musty basement. So it’s pink and rainbows and sparkle and stupid.

As such, the decor adventure landed at me putting window clings on a poster frame.

Can’t say that felt like the most adult-ish thing to be doing with my time, and maybe it looks tacky somehow, but boy did it scratch an itch. One really has to question why adults of a certain age are siphoned off to beige all the things. Get back in your lane, slave. No rainbows 4 u.

These things feel extra at contrast with the world right now. The lunar flyby mission: that’s the vibe I’m going for. Science! Future! Joy! The news otherwise? Ick. Put it back. Actually, don’t do that: throw it out altogether. Straight to the dumpster outside. Don’t even wait til trash day on that.

The fucking idiot in chief just threatened to level an entire country. I don’t understand how this isn’t the final straw for congress, et al, to take him and his masters/cronies out. We’ve had enough. Stop.

So I’m concentrated on what I can control: beautifying my space, taking out the literal trash, and putting aside things to donate or use for projects. Keep things from touching my dumb finger. Looking at more pictures from the moon. Updating the new site.