For the last several years I’ve posted the bulk of my watchlist queue on whichever blog I’ve had about annually. This year my finger fucking hurts and doesn’t want to format that shit. So, instead, I’m going to break it down to a smaller list of high rated movies and some upcoming movies of particular interest to me. Hopefully I have words to share about movies I’ve never seen.
We start over a hundred years ago.
1922 Haxan. I’ve seen this title on numerous lists both of the horror and Film(tm) persuasions. At a 7.6 rating on IMDB, it would stand to reason it’s a watchable experience I could probably prioritize next time I feel like looking into the past or doing a horror binge. The only thing I know about it besides the era of film is its about witches and probably demons or the devil given the photos that came up when I clicked the link.
1932 Freaks. I’ve seen clips of this one and recognized references within culture, but I’ve not yet watched the movie itself. Given my appreciation of weird nonsense in movies, it’s probably about time.
1940 The Grapes of Wrath. Of course, I could read the book. But a two-hour 8-rated movie sounds easier on the soul given the synopsis. Coming from an agriculture science education, I’m familiar with the historical background of the movie already, so I’m expecting it to be bleak, and that has made me put this off into that vague “maybe someday” place that rarely escapes into “yes today”.
1952 Singin’ in the Rain. I don’t know how I haven’t seen this yet. I’ve seen the title piece – where he’s dancing in a wet city – many times in culture but the movie itself never made its way to me.
1961 West Side Story. I better understand how this one skipped me: when I would have been most likely to see it I would have thought musicals were boring. The title came back to mind more recently with the remake(?) and now I feel like it’s about time. Unfortunately, I am a slave to “now” and a 65 year old movie doesn’t fit.
1965 The Sound of Music. Another one where I’m just, like, how? How did this miss me? Traces of it permeate film and yet 11 year old me watched Critters and/or V.I. Warshawski for the nth time. Did my mom hate musicals or something? Doubtful, she loved family movies. So who knows.
1970 Patton. I have a certain affinity for war movies – they scratch a similar itch that horror does, can’t imagine why – so it’s about time to watch this one. I’ve seen at least part of the speech from this one but have no idea about the content of the movie otherwise.
1974 Young Frankenstein. I need to just see this already. It’s been on my shortlist for ages, like maybe the second after I saw Blazing Saddles in my early 20s. Why does my soul fear fun so much?
1978 Animal House. I am very curious to see how this movie has held up over time. I’m just a few years younger than the movie and a teenage me probably would have watched it under the assumption it was an exaggerated documentary. Alas, I didn’t go to “college” college, and I haven’t seen this to know what the hell.
1983 The Right Stuff. Baby, the right stuff. Why does Dave, intentionally or not (*checks synopsis* ok yes, he did it on purpose), quote the title of this movie?
1984 Amadeus. Look at them fancy pictures, ma. Gonna get me an 80s Marie Antoinette treatment?
1986 Castle In The Sky. There are a bunch of kid-focused anime movies I still haven’t seen that I probably should.
1988 My Neighbor Totoro. Ditto. This one in particular has been on my to-watch shortlist for ages.
1994 Leon The Professional. Much curiosity to be had here. I was likely slightly too young to see it in 1994 and it didn’t return to consciousness (if I ever saw ads for it in the first place) until I was old enough to not really be jazzed about the idea of watching movies from the 90s.
1998 Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. Boys close to me in age couldn’t shut up about this one that year. Considering the type of person, it was off-putting enough to skip it.
1999 Audition. This and Martyrs have been in my queue since I had a queue. Fortunately for me people talked about these movies enough to tell me I have to be in the right mood for them, and mostly I’m in the mood to avoid gore and torture porn. Alas, my interest in picking at horror suggests I should do the thing.
2000 Battle Royale. I wish I’d seen this one on release because watching a bunch of kids kill each other was peak my aesthetic in 2000. I don’t think I heard about this movie’s existence until 2008 or later, by which point I was divorced of the idea of watching teenagers do anything at all. Also I just remembered that Columbine happened right before this movie came out, and LOL, WTF JAPAN. It was a few years later, but I haven’t watched Elephant yet because of the same content (except as a drama), and I imagine I might never see it.
2009 Dogtooth. I know nothing of this movie beyond the synopsis and director, leading to a guess that this movie is probably fucked up. Mostly I’m just here noticing how few movies from the first decade of the 2000s that I care about in my queue, and I imagine that has a lot to do with how many random movies I caught on TV circa 2001-2005 then backtracking during the next few years when I had high speed internet and on demand movies. I knew IMDB probably as early as 2000 or 2001 but didn’t have an account to keep track of things for another decade, so maybe I missed some weird horror or indie things that would have appealed and now they’re lost to the ether.
2010 Blue Valentine. Pretty sure I added this to my queue right when I had a queue. I maybe had it on a mental shortlist at some point. But then bad relationship noise means romance is off the table. But then I tolerated romance again so it was back on. Then it had been years and why bother. Then it was like why haven’t I seen this yet. Then more shitty relationship noise. Then exhaustion. Eventually I will see this and wonder why it took this long. The good news is the new incentive is learning Ryan Gosling isn’t an absolute tool as can so often happen with actors.
2014 John Wick. I saw this. I likely have written record of watching it. And I remember nothing. Something about a dog dying, guy has the sad, then guy goes to pick a fight with everyone who done his dog wrong. I just mentally pictured The Dude on his search of rug, except with guns. In any case, because I don’t remember the details of this movie, I haven’t watched the sequels. Why so many sequels. Does he think his dog will return? I bet there’s a second dog. Maybe someone overturns a fish tank. “You killed my Goldie: prepare to die.” Men will do anything except go to therapy.
2015 Straight Outta Compton. At the time this came out I wondered who this movie was for. Like were we not just five minutes ago experiencing 1993 together? But there are people alive then who somehow missed the train on Nirvana entirely, and my dumb ass has documentaries about doom/thrash/whatever other music I have abused queued, so… yeah. I haven’t seen this, of course, but I was worried it was exploitative or glorifying poverty.
2017 One Cut of the Dead. I have gotten so close to watching this so many times and then my brain says “BUT WHAT ABOUT NEW STUFF!” and I end up watching new horror instead. This movie will happen, it will.
2021 CODA. I was still fresh post interpreting English into sign and dementia-english at the time this came out so I had to opt out of watching it for fear of it hitting way too close to home. The curiosity is very much there but it’s hard for me to watch movies with ASL without it becoming an ordeal even without fresh hell going in my life.
2021 Marcel the Shell with Shoes On. I planned to watch this as it released to the internet but I could not find the headspace for a chill movie at the time and things got worse, not better.
2023 Perfect Days. I imagine, from the synopsis, this movie is like watching someone quietly play Stardew Valley without ever going to the mines. My anxiety was rampant in 2023 into 2024 and I likely wouldn’t have been able to finish this.
2024 Memoir of a Snail. I’ve skipped past a lot of animation and family-focused movies because of their so often emotionally brutal results, and I don’t really particularly care for crying. If it isn’t the story itself, it’s me thinking about who I might have watched this movie with, and ugh. Fuckin’ stupid life. But it’ll happen in time.
2025 Zootopia 2. I almost watched this near Oscars time but quit as I remember absolutely nothing about the first movie. Do I watch the first one again or nah? Is it worth the effort for a kid-focused movie that’ll probably re-explain things for me? Hm.
2025 Sisu: Road to Revenge. This was shortlisted the second I heard about its eventual existence. Good to see it has a 6.8 rating but I’m worried the dry humor vibe of the first movie will be lost on a sequel now that we know dude’s indestructible. It’s crazy to me the genres don’t list Sisu as a comedy.
2025 Sirat. Just look at those gigantic speakers. I’ve watched quick clips of this movie and the sound is very appealing. *me listening to Nine Inch Noize right now*
2025 Fucktoys. The cover art alone. I also love trash.
2025 Obsession. Despite the date it’s listed under, it just came out in theaters. It’s getting the hype machine treatment despite being horror. One wonders what for. Seriously considering watching it in theaters before it leaves but I have to plan around my health situation, so, we’ll see. Seeing it at home in a month or two is fine, too.
2026 Hokum. “A horror writer…” Stop. Sold. Jack is a dull boy.
2026 The Drama. Mr Twilight sure has made a lot of good creative career decisions since those movies, hasn’t he.
2026 Is God Is. Someone described this movie the other day in a way that I was like, well, glad I already have it marked in queue. No idea what they said now. The quick skim of the trailer reminds me of Tarantino, but I could be off base.
2026 I Love Boosters. The cover art and imagery looks incredibly appealing. More pretty movies please (also, more glitter and Claymation and creepy dark fantasy).
2026 Send Help. The synopsis reminds me of Triangle of Sadness (a very difficult movie about class and power), but the cover art suggests a different vibe.
2026 Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma. So far early critics aren’t liking this one as much as I would expect, so safe to assume the director went to the weird place again. lol.
2026 Backrooms. I FINALLY (half-)watched the video the other day. People are really starved for original horror. I am very curious if this will be terrible (expected) or a top-whatever (very possible).
2026 The Odyssey. I don’t think they’re advertising this movie hard enough. When will trailers appear upon my analog fridge? In my dreams? Nolan is a money-maker and the cast is expensive, so, I would imagine this will be decent. But yeah. STFU. I heard you the first time!
2026 Disclosure Day. Look at sci-fi, flirting with me like that. It’s a Spielberg movie so it’s probably something you can watch with grandma at the end of the day*, but I’ll go into it with expectations of intellectual titillation regardless. *Maybe watch it with her in the afternoon; those 6pm bedtimes beckon regardless of film quality and there’s just no need to cosplay Love You Forever (auto-tear) with grandma when yer mom’s right there. Oh fuck, I really teared up just typing that. This is your fault, ET! MF’ING BOOKS!
2026 The Wolf Will Tear Your Immaculate Hands. I will watch this guy in just about anything but then you said PNW and horror. Chocolate, peanut butter, AND whipped cream?! The lack of a concrete release date is alarming and makes me think this won’t come out anytime soon.
2026 Ice Cream Man. A billion years ago I freewrote a horror story with an ex featuring a perverted ice cream man, and Eli Roth made one of my favorite movies from the same era of my poor sense of humor (Cabin Fever). Unless this gets absolutely terrible reviews, I’ll probably see it. Since the plot evidently involves food, maybe they’ll reference “PANCAKES!” in it somehow just for my own stupidity.
2026 Verity. What am I, psychic? While reading the book a couple of years ago I got the impression that I was reading a future movie. The cast suggests it shouldn’t be dogshit terrible, so there’s that.
2026 The Social Reckoning. I really hope the press and talk surrounding this movie helps push more people off Meta platforms.
2026 Dune: Part Three. The time is slowly approaching that this epic trio finally comes to a close. And it’s still over six months away, and probably longer still for me to see it.
2026 Werwulf. Willem Dafoe takes things to 11 and horror expectations for Eggers are high after Nosferatu. OMFG I was just reminded he’s reportedly directing a Labyrinth sequel. Just fuck my shit up.
2027 Spaceballs: The New One. A beautiful excuse to rewatch Spaceballs. Short story: my mom had luggage with a lock set to “0000”, and I would always think of Spaceballs because of how stupid and insecure that was, assuming she ever actually went anywhere. Looking forward to seeing Rick Moranis on screen again.
2027 “Untitled Paranormal Activity Project“. Who wants to bet it involves Youtube somehow?
2027 The Exorcist. No synopsis, just a director and cast. Seems somewhat promising from those factors, though I’m guessing the tone will be different (more subdued creepy?) from the original based on who’s directing.
2027 Return of the Living Dead. I think I’ll end here. I know nothing about the director other than the appearance of some very low rated movies before this. The top-listed actor has had a mixture of movies, so that doesn’t help. Hard to imagine an improvement over the original cast, too. This does remind me that I plan to eventually watch all of the Final Destination movies (I’ve seen the first one for sure, probably the second or third, and none in more recent history).
My internet cut out as it often does at this time of night and I’m around 50 movies here, so I won’t keep going… but there’s more. This very short list is probably less than 1% of my total list. I am ambitious. I am also indecisive and writing all of this barely helped narrow down what I should watch next.