Tag: movies

Short Movie Reviews: Existentialism

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Unlike this time last summer, I haven’t been watching a slew of horror movies. Instead, I picked up a puzzle habit, started a new music blog, and have been working on small things to prepare for anywhere from a week (everyday life) to a month (big, effortful things) of recovering from surgery. I imagine I’ll be watching a lot more, if mainly TV, for the next couple of weeks. But I’ve been watching movies at a rate similar to the old low hum times these past few months, and that’s added up, so it’s time for some mini reviews here & now.

Good Boy/Heel
Can’t argue with the idea of leashed men, but this felt a little too toxic family unit slash culty for me, and seems to me cruel patriarchy still won out in the end. Reminded me of People Under The Stairs meets Clockwork Orange. Fairly unique otherwise, so worth seeing if you’re bored of the usual.

Honey Bunch
Went in blind besides its poster art & genre and that was a good move. Interesting 70s style & approach. Wasn’t as gross as I expected. The mystery part took time to unravel and wasn’t predictable, but eventually reminded me of stranglehold-level “for your own good” people so I’m on team 3.

Forbidden Fruits
A bit disjointed but a welcome kind of weird. Took from whole swaths of female-led movies like The Craft and Mean Girls (and many more). Despite its character, I’m not certain it had the same kind of punch, though a younger person might have been more sparkled by it.

Keeper
DRUGS. Not good, not bad, just DRUGS. It does different things but felt somewhere along the lines of Men with the same kind of setting, WTF vibes, and weird-ass visual effects.

The Threesome
This was a tenuous choice as I don’t normally watch romcoms but I figured what the heck with that provocative title. The story and type of storytelling still just wasn’t my cup of tea. Remember to use protection, kids!

Send Help
Interesting to see Rachel McAdams in a thriller/horror, and it’s fun to see Survivor referenced in a movie, but it had some close familiarity with another stranded on an island movie I’ve seen recently even with the tonal changes.

Obsession
Watched just before Jupiter exactly squared my Scorpio Moon, which feels apt given its plot. I had to sit with this one a bit to fully process it as day-of I was just bummed out. I’m finding it interesting how the topic of “nice guys” is returning to public consciousness like it was in my 20s.

Independence Day (rewatched)
90s American narcissism on full display. The big disaster scene got me thinking that this wouldn’t have been made after 2001, then wondering if it was inspirational for what ensued in 2001 and the subsequent yeehaw reaction.
Thinking about how this movie is 30(!!) years old now gave me a case of existential horror. What happened to all that hope?
Part of it, I’m sure, was that I was 14 in 1996. The other part is the expectation of progress. Computers, tech, the internet, space discovery, medicine, science generally all seemed to be pushing forward into Star Trek territory. I thought of the world getting smaller and better, of people having more access to knowledge and each other, and I thought of a world free of, say, homophobia, poverty, racism. Certainly more good was coming.
What a joke the 90s played on the perception of a glittering future.

Boogie Nights
I loaded up the watchlist, scrolled to the 90s with intent to cleanse me of the ID4 existential crisis, and this was among the titles. It was very effective. Comedic timing was 10/10. Use of music was great. I have the coordination of a newborn giraffe, but now I want roller skates.

Backrooms
Imagine the kids doing the scientology speedruns doing speedruns through the backrooms.
I like original movies. It was okay. Had a nice laugh at the Creep actor showing up given that guy is the personification of the backrooms. I also randomly thought of The Morning Show beforehand, so, neat.
A few weeks later I’m finding this movie more endearing than when I first watched it.

The Amityville Horror 1979
I was expecting discomfort from having seen It’s About Time and the 2005 remake, and yep! But the pace was tough on the soul and the ending felt anticlimactic. Just, ok? AND?? No wonder there have been so many sequels.
I did tarot beforehand and one of my questions was if any animals die in the movie. I got 4 of wands, 10 of cups, 4 of swords. The last big scene is a pet getting rescued from the house (and they’re all so happy). Weird that I thought to ask since I don’t remember the remake at all.

Iron Lung
I haven’t played Iron Lung, but in part of the game Myst you navigate through a series of underground tunnels within a vessel. That was this movie, except add blood ocean, psychedelic confusion, and needless displays of Man Anger. Was irritatingly slow and probably an hour too long.

Disclosure Day
Young me would have been annoyed at this movie for similar reasons as when I saw Contact originally, but old me didn’t mind. Liked the pre-90s former Hollywood stylistic approach and choices (why was I reminded of Indiana Jones movies?). Some predictability but it gives room to insert oneself, which is what sci fi does well: Hyoo-maans.

Nightborn
It’s been a long time since I saw Little Otik, but it was hard not to be reminded of it here. Generally insane, uncomfortable horror movie with a sprinkle of body horror. A good portion of it made me regretful that I had ears today given the long period of screaming infant.

Colony (KO)
Zombie horror Sense8. It has a fresh take, but it relies on a ton of tropes to speed up the plot. It’s watchable if you like zombie horror.

Soulm8te
Essentially if the Terminator started as a sex bot. Plenty of movies cover the subgenre of computers becoming sentient, but it was watchable, and the actress who plays the robot takes a lower-mid level movie up a notch.

I don’t know what state of mind I’m going to be in in a few days, so no movie watching promises today. I know I want to see The Odyssey, Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma, and have a soft plan to catch up on House of the Dragon, Interview With The Vampire, and Silo. My brain keeps telling me to rewatch Star Trek, especially since I missed episodes from The Original Series when I started that project originally (stupid Netflix), but that’s a huge time commitment.

Backrooms + tarot

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I broke out the tarot deck and asked questions in advance of watching Backrooms. Spoilers ahead. (Seriously, if you haven’t seen the movie and ever plan to, stop reading.)

Some of the notes I took didn’t make sense at the exact moment but were clarified through watching the full scene and context, which I’ve since edited, hence the brevity.

What’s going on on screen at 5:01?
king of cups, king of pentacles, devil
guy breathing while walking through a corridor that goes from realistic to surrealistic

I’m not sure the cards really answered my question beyond the devil card showing that he was stuck.

What’s the first thing said in words after 9:20?
judgment, temperance, emperor
therapist asked him if “anyone deserves to be alone”… it was a question and it was to a boss

I assumed she was talking to a boss because of the emperor card (and maybe the nature of movies) and I was right. I’ve seen a few cards come out as posed questions before, and one or both of the first two cards have been questions. Maybe temperance is the therapist or the tone?

What’s happening at 19:00?
chariot, empress, queen of wands
therapist is watching tv on couch, “it’s never too late to forge a new path” on infomercial/commercial

This one made me breathe hard. The TV was telling her to stop VHS & chilling and go do the things.

What’s the first sound/noise at/after 28:14?
7 of cups popped out, then: wheel, page of wands, judgment
took a while of ambient wind tunnel-wailing sounds but eventually sounded like a radio playing chinese people talking? many more languages continue. then finally he calls out “hello?”

The cards are like “surprise, bitch! exploration awaits!” with the first two cards I actually pulled, and judgment is his confused question into the ether. 7 of Cups popping out before I finished shuffling is a laugh with the multiple languages/people’s voices being so many options to choose from. The recording is from the “hi, we are the people of earth” thing thrown out into space some decades ago.

What’s visually happening at 45:22?
temperance, 5 of cups, hermit (note in advance: someone waiting/standing still alone)
standing still at a mirror testing a camera to begin recording… not alone but visually alone, doesn’t want to be there

Yep. Nailed it. The scene was about waiting for someone and the exact moment was a guy visually alone. The 5 of cups card was his frustrated reluctance.

How do I feel about what’s happening on screen at 59 mins 59 seconds?
lovers, ace of swords, knight of swords (note in advance: make a choice to protect yourself, idiot… choose thinking harder)
…seriously?? mom had just told daughter to avoid the window (girl was curious) because it’s too ‘outside’ outside.

The cards described the scene, not how I felt. I’ve had ace of swords come up for folks looking out windows before and I described it as “hey, what’s going on over there? I should find out!” and that’s exactly what was going down in the scene until she’s told to get away from the window. Mom was literally telling her to protect herself (knight of swords).

What’s visually happening at 1hr 13 mins?
moon, 9 of pentacles, sun
mom being wheeled away, having a bad hallucination/nightmare, is currently IRL unconscious, becoming aware of the nonsenseland

I’m not sure about 9 of pentacles exactly, but moon-sun was her becoming aware of the weird.

What’s going on at 1hr 24 mins?
king of wands, 6 of wands, lovers
therapist yells at him. he’s having a meltdown about his wife/life. she tells him how it is.

I think she was the king of wands here, not him. His ego was on display and she wands-esque told him what’s what. Lovers would be the conversation itself, but he specifically wanted to roleplay her as his wife.

What’s the first thing said or spoken at/after 1:35:12?
temperance, 6 of wands, 8 of swords
at the exact time she was in a really narrow hall/corridor walking sideways trying to escape the backrooms… next words were “are you okay?” and “who the fuck is that??” and being stopped by regular people

Wild how many of the random-ass times I chose were key pivotal moments. Her being stuck between the Backrooms and wherever she goes from there, and also stuck between the creature and real people, is very interesting with the 8 of swords.

Is the main protagonist of the movie a fucking idiot?
page of cups, 7 of swords, ace of wands (note in advance: they’re “guns a blazing” and think they can charm their way out of situations)
kind of, yes. drunk guy trying to out-strategize and go ham into the dark

What horror protagonist isn’t an idiot? But I had to ask out of curiosity of what an idiot could look like in tarot form. Welp.

That was a fun experiment. I haven’t watched a movie using tarot in a good while and I figured since there would likely be shaky cam and I already had a headache, I would need to take a lot of eye breaks anyway, so what better excuse than to use my miserable experiences as a time to play.

Since this is my first tarot post here, have some background: I’ve been curious or interested in paranormal, psychic, and weird content since I was a little kid but my atheism and ye olde scientific method has kept these things in the “that’s nice, dear” pile. Sometime around 2021 I decided to at least learn how to read tarot cards, and around 2024 I began experimenting with more detailed and complex questions as I found more understanding with specific cards. I’m not a complete novice anymore but I still feel like I just started, and each time I do experimental questions with immediate answers like this I feel like I get a better sense of what cards could mean and how tarot could be used. I still don’t know if it’s not just a matter of human pattern-finding and need to fill in the blanks, but it’s at least occasionally interesting.

Short Movie Reviews: Space, Autonomy, and Meltdowns

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Let’s do a sooner-than-usual mini-review update, shall we?

Dreams (2025)
I prefer to go into movies blind, which is a handicap for me because I end up picking things I could have predicted were going to be uncomfortable to watch if I’d done research. 90% of the movie? A moody romantic drama about class issues. The other 10%? I now see why this has mid ratings. I don’t mind fucked up or gray areas, but this was definitely not a story for the type of audience who needs a glittering hero they can see themselves in. (Synopsis: Well-to-do lady takes on a lover who comes to see her, she’s uncomfortable, relationship goes south.)

Project Hail Mary
I read the book a few years ago and this was highly anticipated. It’s been a few weeks since I saw the movie and I’m uncertain about it’s standalone appeal to me now – I will have to watch it again someday – but it definitely did the book justice. The unsaid character of Science that makes the book so amazing could have had more screentime, but that would have taken more than 2.5 hours to get into the nitty-gritty of the book. As I expected, its tone felt like it was communicating to an older kid to early teen audience, but the whole story – book or movie – has broad appeal. I’m glad to see inspiring movies like this get made.

Johnny Mnemonic
I already posted about this here.

Undertone
Very creepypasta. Reminded me of many years ago listening to “ghost” clips on whatever website, except this just has the one story going on. The visual direction was good for a one-location movie based around sound (the slow pan to the dark room behind her was creepy as hell) but the plot was iffy. Maybe I live in a world of abundance and forget what it’s like to appreciate a smaller kind of story. Either way, glad I saw this shortly before dawn.

Apex
Of all the movies available for me to watch, it boggles the mind that I chose to watch this. I’m not target audience for adventure-thrillers, even if they sprinkled in a little “WTF?”, so not sure why I kept watching once I realized what was what and I was probably going to come out of the movie bored. Curiosity sucks sometimes. Shoulda watched something else.

Vampire’s Kiss
“Does this mean we can’t have children??”

That it took me 37 years to get around to this movie is insane. Teenage me would have LOVED it. It’s held up well, and seeing it in retrospect of Mandy, et al, taught me that he’s been going full Cage from the start.

Right away I was reminded of Once Bitten, one of my all-time favorite movies where an anxious teenager believes he’s becoming the vampire thrall of a sultry parasitic older lady. Later reverse American Psycho references stood out, and the story is more in parallel with that as an absurdist commentary about patriarchy and capitalism and women being prime victims of try-hard insecure (if not mentally unstable) men. I was literally thinking of American Psycho earlier this day, about how it’s the first time it’s occurred to me that a pseudo-ex was probably a step away from “D’JA LIKE HUEY LEWIS AND THE NEWS?” and maybe I shouldn’t talk to human beings ever again because of it… so the movie was feeling really timely.

I haven’t read it, but “Weaveworld” (as in Clive Barker) in the background of at least a couple of scenes felt like a beacon, and it made me wonder if the auto body shop being called “Romero’s” (as in George) was purposeful. A picture of Kafka was also on a desk. All in all, it looked like the set dec people were having a blast, pigeon feathers and all.

The Drama
Synopsis: A couple about to get married discover things about themselves that ruffle some feathers. I HATED everyone in this movie. I was feeling a lot of empathy for one character who’s the target of the such-called “drama” but I ultimately noped out of that, too. It’s fair to say it was an effective movie and reminded me of why I need to continue screening my friends and relationships better, but maybe that teen girl was right (lol).

Mother Mary
I want to see Weird Al parody this whole entire thing. I get the value of this movie as a piece of art, but it was a bit too much with too little.

Hokum
Another horror movie added to the list of reasons why I should never, ever trust horror movie reviews. I saw the ratings and made an assumption that more people are open to horror, therefore the scores meant it would be good. It wasn’t awful, but it was dull with very little going on worth the watch, and the more interesting characters/ideas weren’t feature long. I checked the reviews again after which reminded me that the director also did Oddity – another movie I found boring to the point of irritating yet “everyone else” apparently liked. We’re all different, we all have different tastes and preferences, and then there’s timing… but no thanks to this one for me.

Is God Is
Crazy that this was the first movie by this director. This was easily one of the better movies I’ve yet seen this year and it was sitting with me for days. RIYL Tarantino movies, revenge westerns, lady-forward stories. I got excited to see “Maxine” from Living Single – a show I grew up watching – early in the movie, but the whole thing was cast well.

The Bride
There are a few movies that can easily be used to screen potential dates to reveal their shitty ideas and lack of depth. How does he feel about Fight Club? Joker? Taxi Driver? Scarface? This has a similar, but reverse affect. Can he tolerate watching a woman be an individual, who enforces her boundaries? Is the result of “Brain Attack!” off-putting followed by a claim of the movie being sub-par somehow? If so, you probably shouldn’t proceed on those dates. Or, you know, you could make him watch Teeth to be certain. Bonus: I was pleasantly surprised to see/hear Fever Ray in this. MOAR WEIRD.

2010: The Year We Make Contact
Y NO GO EUROPA? U NO READ PANDORA’S BOX?! U HUMAN 9 YRS AGO! OPEN BOX NOW! The 1984 sequel to 2001 (made in 1968!) felt ultimately pointless to me, even for being interesting for a space sci-fi person, much like it was a mid-season TV episode and press here to continue to episode six after that rude-ass cliffhanger. I see why it didn’t permeate the way 2001 did now. It wasn’t a bad movie necessarily, but… like… where’s 2061 or 3001, this season isn’t over! Explain Europa now! I should probably just read the books.

3-Iron
I left this feeling like I’d just watched poetry. It’s a foreign film but it doesn’t really need subtitles for the vast majority of the movie. Normally I’d assume that means it’s a slow movie, and it’s slower than some, but it had plenty of movement. While it’s a romance about a relationship developing in a strange situation, it’s romance from a chronically male perspective. Great movie, and still worth seeing 22 years later.

I was expecting to see Obsession by now but early word about streaming dates ended up being lies, and then folks were talking about it in such a way that sounded like maybe it wasn’t a good idea to see in theater for me, so that’s on pause but likely will follow soon. Theoretically Backrooms will follow that, but sooner interest is in seeing I Love Boosters and Disclosure Day (side note: I went to check when I Love Boosters was playing at my nearest theater, and it isn’t and won’t, which feels very on brand for America). Of course, lots of movies from before this year are still lingering to be seen, so who’s to say what happens first.

Unseen Movies

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For the last several years I’ve posted the bulk of my watchlist queue on whichever blog I’ve had about annually. This year my finger fucking hurts and doesn’t want to format that shit. So, instead, I’m going to break it down to a smaller list of high rated movies and some upcoming movies of particular interest to me. Hopefully I have words to share about movies I’ve never seen.

We start over a hundred years ago.

1922 Haxan. I’ve seen this title on numerous lists both of the horror and Film(tm) persuasions. At a 7.6 rating on IMDB, it would stand to reason it’s a watchable experience I could probably prioritize next time I feel like looking into the past or doing a horror binge. The only thing I know about it besides the era of film is its about witches and probably demons or the devil given the photos that came up when I clicked the link.

1932 Freaks. I’ve seen clips of this one and recognized references within culture, but I’ve not yet watched the movie itself. Given my appreciation of weird nonsense in movies, it’s probably about time.

1940 The Grapes of Wrath. Of course, I could read the book. But a two-hour 8-rated movie sounds easier on the soul given the synopsis. Coming from an agriculture science education, I’m familiar with the historical background of the movie already, so I’m expecting it to be bleak, and that has made me put this off into that vague “maybe someday” place that rarely escapes into “yes today”.

1952 Singin’ in the Rain. I don’t know how I haven’t seen this yet. I’ve seen the title piece – where he’s dancing in a wet city – many times in culture but the movie itself never made its way to me.

1961 West Side Story. I better understand how this one skipped me: when I would have been most likely to see it I would have thought musicals were boring. The title came back to mind more recently with the remake(?) and now I feel like it’s about time. Unfortunately, I am a slave to “now” and a 65 year old movie doesn’t fit.

1965 The Sound of Music. Another one where I’m just, like, how? How did this miss me? Traces of it permeate film and yet 11 year old me watched Critters and/or V.I. Warshawski for the nth time. Did my mom hate musicals or something? Doubtful, she loved family movies. So who knows.

1970 Patton. I have a certain affinity for war movies – they scratch a similar itch that horror does, can’t imagine why – so it’s about time to watch this one. I’ve seen at least part of the speech from this one but have no idea about the content of the movie otherwise.

1974 Young Frankenstein. I need to just see this already. It’s been on my shortlist for ages, like maybe the second after I saw Blazing Saddles in my early 20s. Why does my soul fear fun so much?

1978 Animal House. I am very curious to see how this movie has held up over time. I’m just a few years younger than the movie and a teenage me probably would have watched it under the assumption it was an exaggerated documentary. Alas, I didn’t go to “college” college, and I haven’t seen this to know what the hell.

1983 The Right Stuff. Baby, the right stuff. Why does Dave, intentionally or not (*checks synopsis* ok yes, he did it on purpose), quote the title of this movie?

1984 Amadeus. Look at them fancy pictures, ma. Gonna get me an 80s Marie Antoinette treatment?

1986 Castle In The Sky. There are a bunch of kid-focused anime movies I still haven’t seen that I probably should.

1988 My Neighbor Totoro. Ditto. This one in particular has been on my to-watch shortlist for ages.

1994 Leon The Professional. Much curiosity to be had here. I was likely slightly too young to see it in 1994 and it didn’t return to consciousness (if I ever saw ads for it in the first place) until I was old enough to not really be jazzed about the idea of watching movies from the 90s.

1998 Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. Boys close to me in age couldn’t shut up about this one that year. Considering the type of person, it was off-putting enough to skip it.

1999 Audition. This and Martyrs have been in my queue since I had a queue. Fortunately for me people talked about these movies enough to tell me I have to be in the right mood for them, and mostly I’m in the mood to avoid gore and torture porn. Alas, my interest in picking at horror suggests I should do the thing.

2000 Battle Royale. I wish I’d seen this one on release because watching a bunch of kids kill each other was peak my aesthetic in 2000. I don’t think I heard about this movie’s existence until 2008 or later, by which point I was divorced of the idea of watching teenagers do anything at all. Also I just remembered that Columbine happened right before this movie came out, and LOL, WTF JAPAN. It was a few years later, but I haven’t watched Elephant yet because of the same content (except as a drama), and I imagine I might never see it.

2009 Dogtooth. I know nothing of this movie beyond the synopsis and director, leading to a guess that this movie is probably fucked up. Mostly I’m just here noticing how few movies from the first decade of the 2000s that I care about in my queue, and I imagine that has a lot to do with how many random movies I caught on TV circa 2001-2005 then backtracking during the next few years when I had high speed internet and on demand movies. I knew IMDB probably as early as 2000 or 2001 but didn’t have an account to keep track of things for another decade, so maybe I missed some weird horror or indie things that would have appealed and now they’re lost to the ether.

2010 Blue Valentine. Pretty sure I added this to my queue right when I had a queue. I maybe had it on a mental shortlist at some point. But then bad relationship noise means romance is off the table. But then I tolerated romance again so it was back on. Then it had been years and why bother. Then it was like why haven’t I seen this yet. Then more shitty relationship noise. Then exhaustion. Eventually I will see this and wonder why it took this long. The good news is the new incentive is learning Ryan Gosling isn’t an absolute tool as can so often happen with actors.

2014 John Wick. I saw this. I likely have written record of watching it. And I remember nothing. Something about a dog dying, guy has the sad, then guy goes to pick a fight with everyone who done his dog wrong. I just mentally pictured The Dude on his search of rug, except with guns. In any case, because I don’t remember the details of this movie, I haven’t watched the sequels. Why so many sequels. Does he think his dog will return? I bet there’s a second dog. Maybe someone overturns a fish tank. “You killed my Goldie: prepare to die.” Men will do anything except go to therapy.

2015 Straight Outta Compton. At the time this came out I wondered who this movie was for. Like were we not just five minutes ago experiencing 1993 together? But there are people alive then who somehow missed the train on Nirvana entirely, and my dumb ass has documentaries about doom/thrash/whatever other music I have abused queued, so… yeah. I haven’t seen this, of course, but I was worried it was exploitative or glorifying poverty.

2017 One Cut of the Dead. I have gotten so close to watching this so many times and then my brain says “BUT WHAT ABOUT NEW STUFF!” and I end up watching new horror instead. This movie will happen, it will.

2021 CODA. I was still fresh post interpreting English into sign and dementia-english at the time this came out so I had to opt out of watching it for fear of it hitting way too close to home. The curiosity is very much there but it’s hard for me to watch movies with ASL without it becoming an ordeal even without fresh hell going in my life.

2021 Marcel the Shell with Shoes On. I planned to watch this as it released to the internet but I could not find the headspace for a chill movie at the time and things got worse, not better.

2023 Perfect Days. I imagine, from the synopsis, this movie is like watching someone quietly play Stardew Valley without ever going to the mines. My anxiety was rampant in 2023 into 2024 and I likely wouldn’t have been able to finish this.

2024 Memoir of a Snail. I’ve skipped past a lot of animation and family-focused movies because of their so often emotionally brutal results, and I don’t really particularly care for crying. If it isn’t the story itself, it’s me thinking about who I might have watched this movie with, and ugh. Fuckin’ stupid life. But it’ll happen in time.

2025 Zootopia 2. I almost watched this near Oscars time but quit as I remember absolutely nothing about the first movie. Do I watch the first one again or nah? Is it worth the effort for a kid-focused movie that’ll probably re-explain things for me? Hm.

2025 Sisu: Road to Revenge. This was shortlisted the second I heard about its eventual existence. Good to see it has a 6.8 rating but I’m worried the dry humor vibe of the first movie will be lost on a sequel now that we know dude’s indestructible. It’s crazy to me the genres don’t list Sisu as a comedy.

2025 Sirat. Just look at those gigantic speakers. I’ve watched quick clips of this movie and the sound is very appealing. *me listening to Nine Inch Noize right now*

2025 Fucktoys. The cover art alone. I also love trash.

2025 Obsession. Despite the date it’s listed under, it just came out in theaters. It’s getting the hype machine treatment despite being horror. One wonders what for. Seriously considering watching it in theaters before it leaves but I have to plan around my health situation, so, we’ll see. Seeing it at home in a month or two is fine, too.

2026 Hokum. “A horror writer…” Stop. Sold. Jack is a dull boy.

2026 The Drama. Mr Twilight sure has made a lot of good creative career decisions since those movies, hasn’t he.

2026 Is God Is. Someone described this movie the other day in a way that I was like, well, glad I already have it marked in queue. No idea what they said now. The quick skim of the trailer reminds me of Tarantino, but I could be off base.

2026 I Love Boosters. The cover art and imagery looks incredibly appealing. More pretty movies please (also, more glitter and Claymation and creepy dark fantasy).

2026 Send Help. The synopsis reminds me of Triangle of Sadness (a very difficult movie about class and power), but the cover art suggests a different vibe.

2026 Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma. So far early critics aren’t liking this one as much as I would expect, so safe to assume the director went to the weird place again. lol.

2026 Backrooms. I FINALLY (half-)watched the video the other day. People are really starved for original horror. I am very curious if this will be terrible (expected) or a top-whatever (very possible).

2026 The Odyssey. I don’t think they’re advertising this movie hard enough. When will trailers appear upon my analog fridge? In my dreams? Nolan is a money-maker and the cast is expensive, so, I would imagine this will be decent. But yeah. STFU. I heard you the first time!

2026 Disclosure Day. Look at sci-fi, flirting with me like that. It’s a Spielberg movie so it’s probably something you can watch with grandma at the end of the day*, but I’ll go into it with expectations of intellectual titillation regardless. *Maybe watch it with her in the afternoon; those 6pm bedtimes beckon regardless of film quality and there’s just no need to cosplay Love You Forever (auto-tear) with grandma when yer mom’s right there. Oh fuck, I really teared up just typing that. This is your fault, ET! MF’ING BOOKS!

2026 The Wolf Will Tear Your Immaculate Hands. I will watch this guy in just about anything but then you said PNW and horror. Chocolate, peanut butter, AND whipped cream?! The lack of a concrete release date is alarming and makes me think this won’t come out anytime soon.

2026 Ice Cream Man. A billion years ago I freewrote a horror story with an ex featuring a perverted ice cream man, and Eli Roth made one of my favorite movies from the same era of my poor sense of humor (Cabin Fever). Unless this gets absolutely terrible reviews, I’ll probably see it. Since the plot evidently involves food, maybe they’ll reference “PANCAKES!” in it somehow just for my own stupidity.

2026 Verity. What am I, psychic? While reading the book a couple of years ago I got the impression that I was reading a future movie. The cast suggests it shouldn’t be dogshit terrible, so there’s that.

2026 The Social Reckoning. I really hope the press and talk surrounding this movie helps push more people off Meta platforms.

2026 Dune: Part Three. The time is slowly approaching that this epic trio finally comes to a close. And it’s still over six months away, and probably longer still for me to see it.

2026 Werwulf. Willem Dafoe takes things to 11 and horror expectations for Eggers are high after Nosferatu. OMFG I was just reminded he’s reportedly directing a Labyrinth sequel. Just fuck my shit up.

2027 Spaceballs: The New One. A beautiful excuse to rewatch Spaceballs. Short story: my mom had luggage with a lock set to “0000”, and I would always think of Spaceballs because of how stupid and insecure that was, assuming she ever actually went anywhere. Looking forward to seeing Rick Moranis on screen again.

2027 “Untitled Paranormal Activity Project“. Who wants to bet it involves Youtube somehow?

2027 The Exorcist. No synopsis, just a director and cast. Seems somewhat promising from those factors, though I’m guessing the tone will be different (more subdued creepy?) from the original based on who’s directing.

2027 Return of the Living Dead. I think I’ll end here. I know nothing about the director other than the appearance of some very low rated movies before this. The top-listed actor has had a mixture of movies, so that doesn’t help. Hard to imagine an improvement over the original cast, too. This does remind me that I plan to eventually watch all of the Final Destination movies (I’ve seen the first one for sure, probably the second or third, and none in more recent history).

My internet cut out as it often does at this time of night and I’m around 50 movies here, so I won’t keep going… but there’s more. This very short list is probably less than 1% of my total list. I am ambitious. I am also indecisive and writing all of this barely helped narrow down what I should watch next.

320GBs

alienhaus

I just finished rewatching Johnny Mnemonic for the first time.

I saw this in the theater on release which I’m guessing I saw pretty close to my 13th birthday. I don’t remember my assessment, so I must not have cared that much about it.

Rewatching it 31 years later: I had no idea it was a comedy. The acting, the line deliveries… just, holy shit. And then Ice-T, Henry Rollins, fucking He-Man, a dolphin? How’d I forget the dolphin? It’s easy to set aside the outdated vision of the future (to be fair, they always got the evil corporation part right), but what in the fever dream fuck happened here. It looks like it was a cool idea on paper then someone was like (hands) aliens (pyramid in background) and here came Keanu, classically seasoned as an actor from playing (checks resume) Dog Boy. Crazy that The Matrix got made after this.

Ha, Stabbing Westward and Helmet in the credits. Great. I was sampling Helmet again the other day.

Where did this dark, grungy PKD feel in movies about the future go? How sterile the future actually looked. Safe blues and beige for everyone! Here’s your perfect rectangle that connects to totally-not-skynet, not a cable to be found anywhere, and remember to trash it every 2-3 years because we must always be prescient and never allow space for analog dust. Was all the dusty grunge a reaction to the hair spray and day-glo of the decade previous? And now, that?

I see teenagers today wearing the ridiculous pants that my peers and I wore in high school (wet legs and all) and it begs some questions about hackysacks and mixtapes. I assume it’s just another fleeting fashion, but maybe they catch on faster than my fucking idiot peers did and prevent the next agreeably blue-based takeover of the entire internet in the name of convenience aka ease of manipulation.

Mmm the irony of how I was going to post this fully on bluesky until it hit 300 characters. But you know I was talking about Facebook and Twitter. And Amazon and Walmart and Temu and… I guess the good news is that not every restaurant is Taco Bell (Sysco maniacally laughs in the background).