Tag: review

Short Movie Reviews: Existentialism

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Unlike this time last summer, I haven’t been watching a slew of horror movies. Instead, I picked up a puzzle habit, started a new music blog, and have been working on small things to prepare for anywhere from a week (everyday life) to a month (big, effortful things) of recovering from surgery. I imagine I’ll be watching a lot more, if mainly TV, for the next couple of weeks. But I’ve been watching movies at a rate similar to the old low hum times these past few months, and that’s added up, so it’s time for some mini reviews here & now.

Good Boy/Heel
Can’t argue with the idea of leashed men, but this felt a little too toxic family unit slash culty for me, and seems to me cruel patriarchy still won out in the end. Reminded me of People Under The Stairs meets Clockwork Orange. Fairly unique otherwise, so worth seeing if you’re bored of the usual.

Honey Bunch
Went in blind besides its poster art & genre and that was a good move. Interesting 70s style & approach. Wasn’t as gross as I expected. The mystery part took time to unravel and wasn’t predictable, but eventually reminded me of stranglehold-level “for your own good” people so I’m on team 3.

Forbidden Fruits
A bit disjointed but a welcome kind of weird. Took from whole swaths of female-led movies like The Craft and Mean Girls (and many more). Despite its character, I’m not certain it had the same kind of punch, though a younger person might have been more sparkled by it.

Keeper
DRUGS. Not good, not bad, just DRUGS. It does different things but felt somewhere along the lines of Men with the same kind of setting, WTF vibes, and weird-ass visual effects.

The Threesome
This was a tenuous choice as I don’t normally watch romcoms but I figured what the heck with that provocative title. The story and type of storytelling still just wasn’t my cup of tea. Remember to use protection, kids!

Send Help
Interesting to see Rachel McAdams in a thriller/horror, and it’s fun to see Survivor referenced in a movie, but it had some close familiarity with another stranded on an island movie I’ve seen recently even with the tonal changes.

Obsession
Watched just before Jupiter exactly squared my Scorpio Moon, which feels apt given its plot. I had to sit with this one a bit to fully process it as day-of I was just bummed out. I’m finding it interesting how the topic of “nice guys” is returning to public consciousness like it was in my 20s.

Independence Day (rewatched)
90s American narcissism on full display. The big disaster scene got me thinking that this wouldn’t have been made after 2001, then wondering if it was inspirational for what ensued in 2001 and the subsequent yeehaw reaction.
Thinking about how this movie is 30(!!) years old now gave me a case of existential horror. What happened to all that hope?
Part of it, I’m sure, was that I was 14 in 1996. The other part is the expectation of progress. Computers, tech, the internet, space discovery, medicine, science generally all seemed to be pushing forward into Star Trek territory. I thought of the world getting smaller and better, of people having more access to knowledge and each other, and I thought of a world free of, say, homophobia, poverty, racism. Certainly more good was coming.
What a joke the 90s played on the perception of a glittering future.

Boogie Nights
I loaded up the watchlist, scrolled to the 90s with intent to cleanse me of the ID4 existential crisis, and this was among the titles. It was very effective. Comedic timing was 10/10. Use of music was great. I have the coordination of a newborn giraffe, but now I want roller skates.

Backrooms
Imagine the kids doing the scientology speedruns doing speedruns through the backrooms.
I like original movies. It was okay. Had a nice laugh at the Creep actor showing up given that guy is the personification of the backrooms. I also randomly thought of The Morning Show beforehand, so, neat.
A few weeks later I’m finding this movie more endearing than when I first watched it.

The Amityville Horror 1979
I was expecting discomfort from having seen It’s About Time and the 2005 remake, and yep! But the pace was tough on the soul and the ending felt anticlimactic. Just, ok? AND?? No wonder there have been so many sequels.
I did tarot beforehand and one of my questions was if any animals die in the movie. I got 4 of wands, 10 of cups, 4 of swords. The last big scene is a pet getting rescued from the house (and they’re all so happy). Weird that I thought to ask since I don’t remember the remake at all.

Iron Lung
I haven’t played Iron Lung, but in part of the game Myst you navigate through a series of underground tunnels within a vessel. That was this movie, except add blood ocean, psychedelic confusion, and needless displays of Man Anger. Was irritatingly slow and probably an hour too long.

Disclosure Day
Young me would have been annoyed at this movie for similar reasons as when I saw Contact originally, but old me didn’t mind. Liked the pre-90s former Hollywood stylistic approach and choices (why was I reminded of Indiana Jones movies?). Some predictability but it gives room to insert oneself, which is what sci fi does well: Hyoo-maans.

Nightborn
It’s been a long time since I saw Little Otik, but it was hard not to be reminded of it here. Generally insane, uncomfortable horror movie with a sprinkle of body horror. A good portion of it made me regretful that I had ears today given the long period of screaming infant.

Colony (KO)
Zombie horror Sense8. It has a fresh take, but it relies on a ton of tropes to speed up the plot. It’s watchable if you like zombie horror.

Soulm8te
Essentially if the Terminator started as a sex bot. Plenty of movies cover the subgenre of computers becoming sentient, but it was watchable, and the actress who plays the robot takes a lower-mid level movie up a notch.

I don’t know what state of mind I’m going to be in in a few days, so no movie watching promises today. I know I want to see The Odyssey, Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma, and have a soft plan to catch up on House of the Dragon, Interview With The Vampire, and Silo. My brain keeps telling me to rewatch Star Trek, especially since I missed episodes from The Original Series when I started that project originally (stupid Netflix), but that’s a huge time commitment.

Short Movie Reviews: Space, Autonomy, and Meltdowns

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Let’s do a sooner-than-usual mini-review update, shall we?

Dreams (2025)
I prefer to go into movies blind, which is a handicap for me because I end up picking things I could have predicted were going to be uncomfortable to watch if I’d done research. 90% of the movie? A moody romantic drama about class issues. The other 10%? I now see why this has mid ratings. I don’t mind fucked up or gray areas, but this was definitely not a story for the type of audience who needs a glittering hero they can see themselves in. (Synopsis: Well-to-do lady takes on a lover who comes to see her, she’s uncomfortable, relationship goes south.)

Project Hail Mary
I read the book a few years ago and this was highly anticipated. It’s been a few weeks since I saw the movie and I’m uncertain about it’s standalone appeal to me now – I will have to watch it again someday – but it definitely did the book justice. The unsaid character of Science that makes the book so amazing could have had more screentime, but that would have taken more than 2.5 hours to get into the nitty-gritty of the book. As I expected, its tone felt like it was communicating to an older kid to early teen audience, but the whole story – book or movie – has broad appeal. I’m glad to see inspiring movies like this get made.

Johnny Mnemonic
I already posted about this here.

Undertone
Very creepypasta. Reminded me of many years ago listening to “ghost” clips on whatever website, except this just has the one story going on. The visual direction was good for a one-location movie based around sound (the slow pan to the dark room behind her was creepy as hell) but the plot was iffy. Maybe I live in a world of abundance and forget what it’s like to appreciate a smaller kind of story. Either way, glad I saw this shortly before dawn.

Apex
Of all the movies available for me to watch, it boggles the mind that I chose to watch this. I’m not target audience for adventure-thrillers, even if they sprinkled in a little “WTF?”, so not sure why I kept watching once I realized what was what and I was probably going to come out of the movie bored. Curiosity sucks sometimes. Shoulda watched something else.

Vampire’s Kiss
“Does this mean we can’t have children??”

That it took me 37 years to get around to this movie is insane. Teenage me would have LOVED it. It’s held up well, and seeing it in retrospect of Mandy, et al, taught me that he’s been going full Cage from the start.

Right away I was reminded of Once Bitten, one of my all-time favorite movies where an anxious teenager believes he’s becoming the vampire thrall of a sultry parasitic older lady. Later reverse American Psycho references stood out, and the story is more in parallel with that as an absurdist commentary about patriarchy and capitalism and women being prime victims of try-hard insecure (if not mentally unstable) men. I was literally thinking of American Psycho earlier this day, about how it’s the first time it’s occurred to me that a pseudo-ex was probably a step away from “D’JA LIKE HUEY LEWIS AND THE NEWS?” and maybe I shouldn’t talk to human beings ever again because of it… so the movie was feeling really timely.

I haven’t read it, but “Weaveworld” (as in Clive Barker) in the background of at least a couple of scenes felt like a beacon, and it made me wonder if the auto body shop being called “Romero’s” (as in George) was purposeful. A picture of Kafka was also on a desk. All in all, it looked like the set dec people were having a blast, pigeon feathers and all.

The Drama
Synopsis: A couple about to get married discover things about themselves that ruffle some feathers. I HATED everyone in this movie. I was feeling a lot of empathy for one character who’s the target of the such-called “drama” but I ultimately noped out of that, too. It’s fair to say it was an effective movie and reminded me of why I need to continue screening my friends and relationships better, but maybe that teen girl was right (lol).

Mother Mary
I want to see Weird Al parody this whole entire thing. I get the value of this movie as a piece of art, but it was a bit too much with too little.

Hokum
Another horror movie added to the list of reasons why I should never, ever trust horror movie reviews. I saw the ratings and made an assumption that more people are open to horror, therefore the scores meant it would be good. It wasn’t awful, but it was dull with very little going on worth the watch, and the more interesting characters/ideas weren’t feature long. I checked the reviews again after which reminded me that the director also did Oddity – another movie I found boring to the point of irritating yet “everyone else” apparently liked. We’re all different, we all have different tastes and preferences, and then there’s timing… but no thanks to this one for me.

Is God Is
Crazy that this was the first movie by this director. This was easily one of the better movies I’ve yet seen this year and it was sitting with me for days. RIYL Tarantino movies, revenge westerns, lady-forward stories. I got excited to see “Maxine” from Living Single – a show I grew up watching – early in the movie, but the whole thing was cast well.

The Bride
There are a few movies that can easily be used to screen potential dates to reveal their shitty ideas and lack of depth. How does he feel about Fight Club? Joker? Taxi Driver? Scarface? This has a similar, but reverse affect. Can he tolerate watching a woman be an individual, who enforces her boundaries? Is the result of “Brain Attack!” off-putting followed by a claim of the movie being sub-par somehow? If so, you probably shouldn’t proceed on those dates. Or, you know, you could make him watch Teeth to be certain. Bonus: I was pleasantly surprised to see/hear Fever Ray in this. MOAR WEIRD.

2010: The Year We Make Contact
Y NO GO EUROPA? U NO READ PANDORA’S BOX?! U HUMAN 9 YRS AGO! OPEN BOX NOW! The 1984 sequel to 2001 (made in 1968!) felt ultimately pointless to me, even for being interesting for a space sci-fi person, much like it was a mid-season TV episode and press here to continue to episode six after that rude-ass cliffhanger. I see why it didn’t permeate the way 2001 did now. It wasn’t a bad movie necessarily, but… like… where’s 2061 or 3001, this season isn’t over! Explain Europa now! I should probably just read the books.

3-Iron
I left this feeling like I’d just watched poetry. It’s a foreign film but it doesn’t really need subtitles for the vast majority of the movie. Normally I’d assume that means it’s a slow movie, and it’s slower than some, but it had plenty of movement. While it’s a romance about a relationship developing in a strange situation, it’s romance from a chronically male perspective. Great movie, and still worth seeing 22 years later.

I was expecting to see Obsession by now but early word about streaming dates ended up being lies, and then folks were talking about it in such a way that sounded like maybe it wasn’t a good idea to see in theater for me, so that’s on pause but likely will follow soon. Theoretically Backrooms will follow that, but sooner interest is in seeing I Love Boosters and Disclosure Day (side note: I went to check when I Love Boosters was playing at my nearest theater, and it isn’t and won’t, which feels very on brand for America). Of course, lots of movies from before this year are still lingering to be seen, so who’s to say what happens first.

320GBs

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I just finished rewatching Johnny Mnemonic for the first time.

I saw this in the theater on release which I’m guessing I saw pretty close to my 13th birthday. I don’t remember my assessment, so I must not have cared that much about it.

Rewatching it 31 years later: I had no idea it was a comedy. The acting, the line deliveries… just, holy shit. And then Ice-T, Henry Rollins, fucking He-Man, a dolphin? How’d I forget the dolphin? It’s easy to set aside the outdated vision of the future (to be fair, they always got the evil corporation part right), but what in the fever dream fuck happened here. It looks like it was a cool idea on paper then someone was like (hands) aliens (pyramid in background) and here came Keanu, classically seasoned as an actor from playing (checks resume) Dog Boy. Crazy that The Matrix got made after this.

Ha, Stabbing Westward and Helmet in the credits. Great. I was sampling Helmet again the other day.

Where did this dark, grungy PKD feel in movies about the future go? How sterile the future actually looked. Safe blues and beige for everyone! Here’s your perfect rectangle that connects to totally-not-skynet, not a cable to be found anywhere, and remember to trash it every 2-3 years because we must always be prescient and never allow space for analog dust. Was all the dusty grunge a reaction to the hair spray and day-glo of the decade previous? And now, that?

I see teenagers today wearing the ridiculous pants that my peers and I wore in high school (wet legs and all) and it begs some questions about hackysacks and mixtapes. I assume it’s just another fleeting fashion, but maybe they catch on faster than my fucking idiot peers did and prevent the next agreeably blue-based takeover of the entire internet in the name of convenience aka ease of manipulation.

Mmm the irony of how I was going to post this fully on bluesky until it hit 300 characters. But you know I was talking about Facebook and Twitter. And Amazon and Walmart and Temu and… I guess the good news is that not every restaurant is Taco Bell (Sysco maniacally laughs in the background).

Words about Oranssi (but mostly about life)

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Literally no one has visited this still-new site yet unless said visitor was using some weird anti-tracking thing I didn’t know was possible during a time when most people have been stuck in walled algorithmic gardens so long they forgot the internet experience was supposed to be choose your own adventure, so much of these words feel in vain, but if you’re here and you just want it quick: I am biased when it comes to this band but, if this band interests you at all, this is your sign to see them live. That’s it, you don’t need to read any further.

Oranssi Pazuzu played Roadburn in 2025. While live video is not usually the best choice to experience music, I usually check in on Roadburn-specific sets, and I checked in on theirs.

I started to type words about it then (the first paragraph below) but inspiration hit me mid-thought. I could have let it be, but it’s hard to let all that satanic vibe alone. Writers gonna write. Unedited beyond adding the link, this is what came out:

That live interpretation of “Valotus” (~22-31 mins of this video) is something. It’s jarring on album. Would imagine hearing it for the first time live is very “???”. “Is this what it’s like to be in a scanner?” says guy on second-day acid before printing a TPS report from his maw.

…and it’s just pages and pages of “666 666 666…”

…

Jeff begins to panic, embarrassed at his local interruption of social decorum, and tries to grasp the papers that spill from his face. They float through his hands, glimmering in the strobing lights as gravity and the force of 3000 breaths seem to take them… but they are not real to anyone but him, and Jeff unintentionally slaps the back of a patron in front of him. Oh. Oh. Sorry! I’m sorry. More 666-filled papers fall between words. “MOTORHEAD” back patch turns, wondering what the fuck is going on behind him. I’m so sorry. Paper. Another paper. Motorhead nods and rolls his head back to the stage. Oranssi full-body screams something about planting native trees and giving your mom a call in Finnish, probably. Jeff’s face burns from the horror of having become satan’s xerox machine in public again. He wonders, should I just leave? Someone taps him on the shoulder. “You okay?” he hears, but he’s afraid to look. He already knows it’s a trap. This is just like the last time. He throws his eyes to the floor with urgency, curling his chin down and stopping the paper factory. Don’t you dare. “You need some water, man?” Don’t fucking do it. Stare at the floor. Stare at the floor. Motorhead’s shoes shift their weight over an imaginary paper. “Come on, let’s get you some water…” the taunting voice continues, pulling his sleeve. No, I’m fine! Jeff’s reaction to the stranger’s touch is enough to pull his eyes to the right, where The Creature promptly demands the full force of his attention, fully against Jeff’s former will. Taking but the briefest pause of victory, It then cracks Its own mouth open, burning Jeff in cruel sonic light. Motorhead nonchalantly wipes a bit of sudden sweat from his temple as Jeff’s soul is taken, raped from his body, pulled into the blinding white void. Everyone continues staring at the stage, unaware of the trick they’d just been played, and Oranssi whisper-yells something about the importance of separating your recycling, probably, sending a wink in the direction of The Creature.

I (finally?) saw them live, and I’ll be, it’s almost like I speak Finnish.

My subconscious mind caught “Valotus” way before my conscious mind woke up to its arrival. I know because my mood shifted from I Am Present, Yes, to “teehee, side… effects” after noticing that the main noise on stage was coming from the keyboards on the sides of the stage. The song then began to build into something recognizable, and even for my inability to tell you exactly what I’d heard so far even though it was all quite familiar to the point of wondering if it was a best-of set that specifically targeted me, my conscious brain suddenly woke up: “oh! Satan is coming to take our souls!”

And so it was delivered. All the prior thought trails about wondering if they’d even be allowed in the US mixed with “it’s pretty funny that they let them in, this music sounding as it does, at a time like this in this country” and flipped around to “I wonder if people walking by on the street think this venue is having a very loud exorcism.” The smirks. The giggles. Am I the only one who finds pseudo-satanic things hilarious? No, but yeah… All that christian-based brainwashing I witnessed and being bullied for saying the F-word and having normal human boundaries I was willing to fight for circa age 8 onward really makes one appreciate some theatrical devil worshiping. Hey look, it’s me on a Tuesday, according to the uptight, misogynistic, control freak fuckwads of yore. I’m here for the sonically violent soul ascension.

Is the song, or any other, actually about these concepts? I couldn’t say. Even translating the lyrics, hmm, well, there’s a horror meets sci-fi vibe there, but it’s not saying what comes to mind first. The vocals and feel of the music come across as dark, brooding, lost in space stuck with an indescribable monster on the ship, sick in a way that will never heal. What’s literally being said is similar to that, even if not exact. But the presentation, the sound of the music itself, takes me to the source of their name, of devils and demons and otherworldly creatures, and hmm, not sure it’s there in those words.

Right away I was a bit thrown by how black metal-forward they were live. The music on album is still like a wall of sound and chaotic, sure, but is produced with more of the detailed psychedelic sounds pushed in view. It was harder to hear the shifts I do at home that cue the song is changing direction. I borderline abused their 2020 album, Mestarin Kynsi, and have listened to the newest one enough in recent times, so it was odd that I wasn’t always able to keep track of where I was in the song live and essentially be told how much my brain has latched on to keys over other instruments. For my history of making fun of keyboards on stage (old timer note: their soundcheck was an entirely reasonable time! holy shit! professionalism is neat!), that was a strange realization. On stage all were prominent, visible, heard, but eyes usually went to guitars and vocals. Once I realized this was how it was going to be, lol bye brain, no bouncy ball to follow along for you, we’re just going for this ride. I kept no notes, took no photos, closed the door on trying to figure anything out, and it was what it was.

This is what setlist.fm says they played:

Bioalkemisti
Muuntautuja
Kuulen ääniä maan alta
Uusi teknokratia
Voitelu
Hautatuuli
Valotus
Ikikäärme
Oikeamielisten sali
Vasemman käden hierarkia

The final song was an encore. I went on a complete mental vacation and could not place it. Was this old or new? It felt vaguely familiar, but it should. Yes, I see, 17 minute runtime, no wonder my synapses stopped firing placement on this one. Part of me wants to blame age or a decade suffering consequences, but I’m pretty sure even an enthusiastic 25 year old me would have been resistant on that much song, and 15 year old me would have wondered what was wrong with “music” people, unaware I’d become the thing. Was it 17 minutes live? It was a while for sure. Have I said it was cool yet? Like people interested in Oranssi Pazuzu need to be told what’s is or isn’t cool… Who cares? Sir and/or ma’am, my soul got eated by The Creature today, that’s good enough.

Behind the scenes (this is a good spot for you impatient “I thought this was a review, not a diary!” types to heed the first paragraph and leave), this was the first live music I’ve seen in actual person in a very long time. The last band I saw in person was High on Fire. I still remember that show as being fantastic, and it’s carried through the void of cruel dementia, my cat dying, the pandemic, my health going to shit, my mom dying, near-miss homelessness, narcissistic spirit-stomping men, all the way through the other side of much tedious life noise I’m so fucking sick of dealing with. Once I’d moved even further from the source, I didn’t know if I’d ever see a show again. Was this facet of my life just plain over and I was in denial? Who the fuck am I even, without it? I’d get to thinking and remember things like when I had to miss Heilung because of my mom, after missing so much already because of that situation getting worse and worse, and then the pandemic happened and what now? I already thoroughly distrusted humanity before this ever turned into diseases and politics; I can’t do it, y’all. I got offers to join humanity again, but I knew coming back wasn’t going to be on anyone else’s terms, anyone else’s idea. My schedule, my body, and my ability to deal with myself and the world on whichever specific day would have to tell me what the fuck and when the fuck.

There were a few “that makes sense” moments to return, but only just recently did I have an inkling that it would be this band. I knew it was different – not a hopeful mirage – when I prepared my bag and checked to make sure I had earplugs and they weren’t expired. Never made it all the way to earplugs before (I always kept a few in my bag back-when). But I couldn’t be sure. I’ve had anxiety attacks before shows I never went to before, and who’s to say how much that just had to do with my life then. Maybe if I got dressed and conquered all to even leave the house, I’d change my mind on the way there and end up someplace else. Maybe I’d wake up with yet another brutal headache. I’m going through it hormonally these days and that could surprise me in some new fashion. Hell, I haven’t had a series of hot flashes or one of the intense ones in several days, which is really fucking weird considering the onslaught just prior, and quite telling that hormones have kicked back into gear and period is on its way. Hey bitch, you’re months fucking late. Hmm, this would be a fun place for an immaculate conception joke tied in with all that 666 talk upstairs, but the real joke here is that I’m already (low growl) satan (devil horns) (drinks ancient wine) (leather jacket cracks) (grimace) so no Rosemary’s Baby situation for me. But it’s certainly a christmas miracle I did all I needed to do, wasn’t suffering beyond the usual terrible anxiety, left the house, and arrived where I meant to be.

One then asks if, after all this time, it was worth it. It’s hard, for my history, to drum up hype about these things the way someone who’d only been to three concerts in their life before might. I also didn’t know who Oranssi was until they became a client in 2018 and wasn’t able to really put in the effort to listen to them until the 2020 album, so I don’t have a potential of decades of history there to cause a nostalgic conniption the way I might for, I dunno, Tool? And then there’s just me anymore, which maybe could be changing or maybe me crying every time someone talks about the lunar flyby is a fluke. A month ago we went to the moon, you guys!!! There was an eclipse and you could see a bunch of planets from the dark side and then we came back and everything was so cool and omfg!!!! And we’re going again! I see I can, in fact, experience untainted wonder and joy this decade. The glimmer of hope for the future is still there. It is still possible to achieve a positive mental state about a thing and maintain it longer than five minutes. But getting excited about live music stuff is still a lot more of a journey than it was a decade or two previous. I now know my back is going to hurt 10 minutes in, and my legs are going to go soon after, and the headache that comes on during and/or after (this time: both), and the fucking lights I made fun of in my prose, and crowds, and venues, and what time when where what, and the literal journey there and back that is longer and more expensive than it ever was. I’m in awe that some people within my scene somehow manage to attend multiple shows a week sandwiched between long and tedious journeys to get there and back. WTF do you mean you didn’t eat or sleep today, TOO? AND you partook in whatever festivities?! Meanwhile if I don’t get 7 hours and at least 400 calories before I leave the house to simply check the mail, lol f u enjoy your punishment. And count tomorrow out, no plans, just recovery. What did I even do? Nothing. Existed. Two days after the show I woke up with another multi-hour headache, because that’s what I get for trying.

But the question was: was it worth it? To watch their vocalist scream into the crowd as “Valotus” hit its peak moment? Yes. Yes it was. Whether this is truly the end of years of frustrated setting-aside of live music or just another moment in time isn’t yet clear and won’t be for probably another year, but boy did that single moment wrap up my absence nicely. I ended 2020 raving about this band and nearly a quarter turn of Saturn later I got to see the results.

I’m sorry, I’ve made it serious. I swear I was stifling out-of-place glee through that whole song and thinking of none of this short of the expected upcoming glass-breaking soul ascension.

Of course Winamp just threw music at me to remind me about having a laugh attack the first time I gave a certain band we’re not supposed to forget a chance. Other, similar memories come to mind. I seem to have a history of laughing at aggressively serious things. I was just thinking of a time I saw said band at Satyricon the other day, of hitting glee state and on the way out being perplexed at a mysterious white powder on a toilet seat. I wondered if it was cocaine, and if so, who the fuck wastes that much cocaine? Besides Elizabeth Wurtzel and QOTSA, I know nothing of these things, but I do know these things cost money. One can’t really explain those Satyricon bathrooms, though. Perhaps the former tenant really needed to baby powder their crotch at 1am. Alas, Star Theater rivals with its incredibly moist seats and floors, eventually punctuated with in-toilet blood while I’m like, well, guess that tracks, given the exorcism I just witnessed. Sign outside door: This isn’t your mom’s house. Please take your miscarriage with you, Susan. And now toilet blood is amusing.

Oh, I forgot to say that I took the earplugs out. I had them in for Wayfarer but the pros and cons added up towards more pros of hearing the room as-is without them. Maybe the wrong move for the number of times I got pierced in the ear with shrill noise, but for all the time of nothing live at all and me already knowing ASL, fuck it. Whatever frequency I might have lost I probably already lost a long time ago.

Current state of ears: hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. DAE tinnitus?

Before I wrap, I should return to the “peopling” thought I almost touched on then skipped past. The best way to put this is that I am historically a 9pm to 6am shopper because I can in no way emotionally deal with the horrors of a grocery store during business hours. I will absolutely take a couple of stray weirdos and startling raccoons on my walk home over anyplace jam-packed with people asleep standing up. I don’t have the patience. It’s overwhelming. I can’t focus. I get so mad. I return home irritated, frustrated, anxious, on edge, burnt out, and probably pissed off that I’ll have to do it again. It’s hard to forget since it’s a forever issue, but I got so used to the relative quiet of my new location that somehow I didn’t know it was a bad idea to visit a busy shopping center at 2pm last year, and what a reminder. No wonder I’d listen to Conan on volume 11 before I’d have to leave the house that one year. No wonder I couldn’t sleep after work when I was a server.

I reflect back to all the crowds of my concert history and wonder where the mad is. It’s mostly a lot of “welp, that’s what I get for not being six inches taller”. Maybe the mad is twisted into just plain nervous anxiety, as I do remember my sleep schedule always getting destroyed by concerts since I couldn’t sleep until past dawn nearly every time even if I went to bed by midnight the nights before. But AT the show? Since I learned I was firmly in camp metalhead and stopped trying to push through “nicer” music that is populated by assholes, people themselves largely haven’t bothered me. There’s a routine of the thing, unsaid expectations of behavior, most people here “get it”, and it feels right and fine. Someone eight feet tall stood in front of me, oh, well, it’s a doom show, everyone here is eight feet tall but me, shoulda fought for the front if I wanted to see. There’s only been a few times I’ve gotten irritated at crowds, and really, it’s more about individuals than the fact that the crowd exists.

I was still worried. With the previous humans-at-2pm trips I’ve taken causing my knitting to unravel mixed in with frustration about specific people I’ve known up close near this scene, I was expecting to find the whole crowd thing an unwanted experience. And yes, it still sucks I’m shorter than the average patron. But the crowd experience was just… yes, and? Okay? Why was I worried about this? How did I not know it would be fine? Evidently going too long caused some of those shapeless cosmic beings to appear real. To be fair, I’ve met some difficult individuals here, but I more or less know what their ilk looks like and can choose not to engage. But lately I’d rather not even have the potential. Alas, not a single one was present. It felt much more like it was for me towards the beginning of my journey, when I was an anonymous, faceless blob in the crowd. Thank fuck. I know I didn’t press the hard reset button here – I definitely have advantages I didn’t have 20 years ago – but enough distance seems to have been good for the ol’ tension.

And the crowd itself was like it always was, give or take the details. Hyoo-mans doing the hyoo-man thing. I knew the show would sell out the day beforehand when I checked to see ticket numbers, which it did early in the day, and I knowingly endured like always with these things. It was great for the band and added up to a “nothing” for me on a personal level.

With that knowledge out of the way, maybe that means I have one less thing causing mental chaos so I can get to another live thing sooner rather than later. I don’t know what that is, couldn’t even hazard a guess right now with my unpredictable health situation, but I’d love to be able to get back to these types of experiences being the norm rather than the exception. Here’s hoping that $5.50 gas price (WTF) goes away by the time I get there.

With me finishing this post almost two days later, I’m feeling tired, my finger is fucking killing me, and I’m burnt out on myself here and wondering if this even worth posting at all. But I did the thing. I’m glad to know that the past six or so years of listening to this band probably a bit too much will likely continue and hope their tour onward provides a tiny outlet that many of us darkly creative ‘muricans need these days.

Bonus factoid: I made the mistake of telling someone I saw a live band and the “what band?” question led to this post. What clarity other people’s unintentional ignorance gives us sometimes.

Short Movie Reviews: Mazes, Kink, and Crying

alienhaus

I didn’t have a place to put my short reviews together for months, so I am a bit behind on a movie update. My memory being how it is, I’m recycling some of my notes and already-posted reviews, so there will be a mix of tone and verbosity going on here. To help, I’ve broken these up into sections.

Movies I Watched Before January

The Shrouds
I didn’t review this movie when I first saw it, on whole because I was frustrated by the way it and the main character in the movie viewed and treated women. So, TLDR, no thanks.

Dracula (2025)
A very pretty movie. In the last year I’ve seen 2 Nosferatus and 2 Draculas so this story’s flaws are starting to stand out, but I get the hype.

No Other Choice
A movie I can’t properly review without spoiling it, but the essential plot is that a guy is frustrated about his career and proceeds to do bonkers things to save it. Gave me some visceral stress at times. I had a nice giggle at the dancing scene, at least.

Shelby Oaks
Well, that happened. Part found footage, part typical slow-as-fuck, poorly acted horror movie featuring themes one can get from better movies like Rosemary’s Baby and Hereditary. Or go binge Ghost Hunters. I liked the fair rep of 2008 internet and always nice to see BSIII, at least.

Descendant
Sci-horror? One of the better versions of “wtf is reality” but still slow and frustrating to watch. Reminded me of something I’d have randomly caught after midnight 23 years ago and not shut off for the lack of anything else to do. I should probably watch Superman or something.

Black Bag
A sleek, subtly male gazey popcorn movie. Spy movies are not my favorite and Sherlock-style “out-thinking the problem” characters irritate me as it feels like the author’s jerking off in our faces, but the movie was quick and to the point with a sharp ending.

Warfare
This movie was a great reminder to listen to Ministry to cleanse oneself of propagandic “nostalgia”. People have mentioned the sound design of the movie, and yes, it was good. It was technically good all-around. But yeah. My generation needs a fucking nap.

Predator Badlands
Manic Pixie Dream Android? Yautja will do anything but go to therapy? The artists and visual effects people must have had a fun time plotting this one out. Felt like a project kid me would have done creating absurd plants and wildlife for an alien world.

Sick and Rewatching Movies I’ve Already Seen

The Martian
Despite the startling lack of “boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew” with all them taters, I rather enjoyed that, during a scene Lord of the Rings is mentioned and another character is confused, Boromir himself is the one to explain.

Buffy The Vampire Slayer
One of my favorite movies as a kid/teen in the 90s. Sometimes youthful favorites don’t hit as an adult, and for that I was nervous to rewatch it, but I had the movie’s cheer song stuck in my head so I did the thing.

Some of the movie cuts felt a bit too quick for what I’m used to in the future, and I kept wondering how old Pike was, but overall it’s a decent, fun, feministic movie I’d still recommend to the preteen-to-teen crowd.

This period of time (in real life) and era of film was a reminder that, on the whole, big popular movies have tended towards the dark, heavy, and mopey over the last 20-some years. Real life has certainly reflected that in the last ten. The bright colors, the neon city background, the notion of hope with a sprinkle of aimless capitalism because OMG Becky, the Future Is Here… Why did we go from weird Spongebob flowers and Day-Glo everything to beige and safe shades of blue? Certainly none of this is a feature thought of the movie itself, but in retrospect of 34 years, it stands out. All in all, it had me thinking I should probably watch more comedies.

Wall-E
First time rewatching, 17? years later.
The 2001: A Space Odyssey theme coming on at just the right time about made my day.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
I can’t remember the last time I watched this, but my best guess is it was still the 90s and I was still young enough to appreciate it as-is. Perhaps it came on TV in the 2000s sometime and I caught it, but it’s been at least 20, probably closer to 30 years.

I was OBSESSED with TMNT as a kid. This came out at the perfect time, just before the crazy kid feelings for the show started to wear enough for me to care about the live-action Turtles being kinda weird. I was cautious to rewatch this and face the horror of my elementary school taste betraying me in any fashion. Alas, I think I’ll be okay. For the 1990 mild janky feelings mixed with the awkward way (if semi-appropriate for the characters) April is treated and the one “I’m not gay, BRO” moment, the overall messages of friendship and family, conquering one’s impulses so to do the right thing, not being led astray by weirdos with a hidden agenda because money/stuff, etc, adds up to a decent movie.

It’s funny in a way knowing a lot of the people from my generation who grew up on this franchise went on to enjoy Joker in unironic earnest. Or other, more prescient things one might do on the internet or about the world that involve interaction with humanity. Maybe the question of “Who’s your favorite Ninja Turtle?” was always an answer of “Foot.”

In other news, holy shit, that’s Sam Rockwell.

Fantasia
Hits way harder as an adult. Night on Bald Mountain is still 10/10. Fantasia as a whole has a feel to it like if an alien were dropped on Earth this movie should be among the first pieces of human culture it saw.

The Neverending Story
Today’s brutal neverending headache had the soundtrack of The Neverending Story. According to Fantasia lore, more of us should watch it to keep the dream of hope alive. Forever a classic.

Sleeping with the Enemy
I was derailed that a domestic abuse survivor with nothing somehow scored a $700 house rent alone with no questions asked, meanwhile every time I move I had to provide my firstborn plus fill out a giant stack of identity-proving papers.

Coneheads
It’s crazy how relevant its plot is to current day. It’s held up really well for being a silly 90s comedy.

The Slowdown Before The Oscars

Strange Harvest
Found footage horror for people who like true crime documentaries a lot.
The astronomy used in it was bad but what can one expect.
WORM.

Fire and Ice
If you like Conan The Barbarian, He-Man, or Wizards, this is your jam. Princess Mononoke also has similar story vibes. Hard not to notice its social flaws, especially 40+ years later, but otherwise it’s a nice brain nap in the realm of violence-minus-gore fantasy.

Downton Abbey The Grand Finale
Fine for not having watched any Downton Abbey since the last movie came out. My memory of the show’s details are spotty since it’s been a decade, which feels a lot like a lifetime ago now, but the “much ado about nothing” of the plots stood out after the last 10 years of unrelated TV. Maybe I’ve avoided newer comfort shows and it’s time to shift back to “nothing” TV. Maybe “Harold” was right about his comments on nostalgia, too: “Sometimes I feel the past is a more comfortable place than the future.”

Good Boy 2025
I want to hug the dog. 🙁

Sentimental Value
So it’s a movie featuring generational trauma, the holocaust, and actors being actors? No wonder it’s attracted awards.
For the billion and a half WW2 movies that never quit, how come we’re here right now?

Horror In The High Desert 4
A shiny silver guitar and a muumuu away from a Melvins music video. “Spread Eagle Beagle”, perhaps.
If you’re not an enthusiast of weird found footage horror, you will get little to nothing out of these movies. Some folks claim they’re scary – I find them more odd and comical. The atmosphere, set dec, general ideas are fun and scratch a certain itch. The pace, however, is BRUTAL. So slow. In four movies, solutions are still nowhere to be found, and it’s obvious the director is milking that. It’s akin to horror ASMR. But it’s also weird happenings set in the desert, and it’s hard to deny the beautiful scenery, the motivations of the central characters, and the small town true crime commentary. You’ll like this franchise if you like The Blackwell Ghost and wish Paranormal Activity had more midnight shaky cam, sentient trees, and mine shafts.
There will be a 5th movie, and of course I’m going to watch it because I am a sucker. Art!

Dead of Winter
I skipped a review of this one at the time, something about not feeling like the movie required it and I didn’t have the energy to search for something to talk about. The plot is that a lady gets involved in a guy’s shady business by happenstance and the shit quickly hits the fan. It’s not as complicated but it tangentially reminded me of Fargo. Kind of a “something to watch” movie and not one to necessarily seek out.

The Housemaid
I needed something low stakes. Yep. It reminded me of a book I read, which is weird, because this is based on a book I haven’t read. The thriller plot isn’t overly complicated (“Rich ppl, amirite?”) but there’s a tonal shift in it that probably feels fascinating to some.

Hamnet
Wouldst thou like to live lachrymologistically*?
I’m not a fan of Shakespeare but this wasn’t lathered in it. The feelings, however, were immense. Whatever they’ve won or will win is well-deserving and Zhao remains a favorite.
*It’s a made up ridiculous term from ancient internet lore about the band Tool. Basically living to cry. And the rest of the quote is from The VVitch when the goat tempts whatsherface with “delicious” living. Key people in Hamnet are accused of being witches.

Marty Supreme
I had to watch this in pieces since it was so long, and as such, I cared less what happened to everyone in the end. Not a fan of scammy, ego-driven characters, though. Otherwise very go, go, go, do, do, do and made me feel anxious for a while after. The honey thing… 🙁

Post-Oscars Recovery

Superman 2025
Well, I watched it. I should not have been fooled by the hype machine. I know that I best stomach dark, unsanitary superhero content and everything else feels like disposable kid stuff. Not that I cared about Superman when I was a kid. It was fine, watchable, whatever. Lesson re-learned.

Pillion
I’ve seen more generally rainbow movies than I have specifically about gay men, but it’s “nice” we’ve got bummer romances for all. Stupidassemotionallyunavailablepricks.

Had a laugh during an egg-related scene after remembering Once Were Warriors‘ “mik me sum iggs”.

Edit: I listened to a review of the movie by some folks in the BDSM community and the mere mention of the scene that caused the above italics made me cry, so, I would say the movie was quite effective. What I say in this post’s final full paragraph stands.

Wuthering Heights
Wow, it’s crazy how sometimes you watch two separate movies with wildly similar plot points on the same day. Iggs (so many eggs today, what the hell), tiny dogs, self-hating subs, sick parents, emotional ridiculousness, cardboard cut-out guy who’s mostly there to be hot for MC…

I haven’t read and don’t know the original source material but it was at least aesthetically interesting. Loved the sparkly blue room. Much of the second half of the movie was beautiful.

I can’t help but notice female gaze and the mid rating, but the corniness makes it hard to be anything more. Ah well. Try and try again.

Another Simple Favor
Well, I started to watch this, but I didn’t get five minutes in before I quit. I skimmed a bit but nothing there seemed valuable. For all the youtube crap I’ve half-watched while playing games or trying to get to sleep, the fact that I couldn’t get through this says a lot.

Exit 8
I’m sure it’s a challenge to come up with a full movie based around a game like this without it being too simple or off base from the game. Pace aside, this was interesting and fresh, with mild horror and a plot that felt logical. FFO Cube and “stuck someplace shitty” one-location movies.

Let Them All Talk
Randomly knocked out an older-but-sorta-recent movie in my queue. With the cast, what could go wrong? But it was better suited for insomnia and background noise. Everything was understated. I guess the dialogue felt natural? *shrug*

28 Years Later The Bone Temple
“yes pls may i have another. That was exactly what I needed today. 9/10 Moon Moon approved.” Crazy how fast one gets used to naked zombies. Perhaps TBT is not the most or best this or that, but what it did, it did well. It felt almost like a standalone movie that could be watched independent of the franchise, but some details would be weird or feel nonsensical without watching the prior movie(s) first. The album cover sold me before anything had happened – I literally laughed – but what ensued would have had teenage me hysterical and pressing rewind in a fucking hurry. That was magical.

Here’s something I don’t normally do: my favorites of the year so far. I’m not including movies I’ve already seen here, nor the movies I saw in the last weeks of December as they were all seen before I did my annual wrap-up. That really narrows it down to three:

28 Years Later: The Bone Temple
Hamnet
Exit 8

Would recommend those three to anyone who hasn’t seen them who are in any way inclined towards the titles, synopses, or their genres (horror, big deal drama, and sci-fi). Pillion was also a good movie but I wouldn’t recommend it on someone who isn’t interested in sexuality, kink, or queer culture content since it’s literally about a BDSM relationship and has sex/kink scenes a-plenty, none of which are given to the audience with their hand held. Even then, I can imagine certain in-the-weeds types feeling this movie was a poor representation even if it’s the first time I’ve seen a certain topic on screen before. Also, Wuthering Heights might be decent to the sort of person who can watch movies with their feet off the pedals and let it do the driving, but I’m a bit done on melodramatic bummer movies right now.

Looking forward to seeing Project Hail Mary. SOON.