Tag: music

Silly Rabbit, KEXP is for kids!

alienhaus

It’s once again time for a big music update. There are 20 videos loaded in this post so apologies in advance if your internet sucks.

A few months ago my computer issues became serious enough that I culled my entire collection of on-computer music to 7 artists and a few new albums. It lasted like that for about two months before I finally added new things again.

One of those artists was Oranssi Pazuzu. They had my favorite album of 2020 and I haven’t meaningfully stopped listening to them since, with 2024’s Muuntautuja providing a boost where I might have naturally waned from their sound.

This Spring I saw them live, and nope, that didn’t help. The singular moment of “Valotus” where the song breaks and returns with next-level intensity performed live got me in the soul. The songs felt different presented more like a sound blanket as opposed to the detail you can hear with the album, but the gleeful little “teehee!” as I recognized that song live meeting their no frills on-stage truth struck me as pretty remarkable, and I’ve been sitting on the thought since.

At the same show I realized I’d skipped past a 17+ minute song of theirs, no doubt because of that runtime. So now I’m listening to “Vasemman Kaden Hierarkia” a lot to make up for it. Probably the next move is to backtrack over their older discography, but I’ll get there when I get there.

In the interim, they played some songs for KEXP, and welp. There goes six years of peace in my relative solitude and further confirmation to keep going. If this is your first time listening to them and your attention span is under 10 minutes, the third song they played is where to start.

All Them Witches had my second favorite album from 2020, and they returned this year with House of Mirrors. They, too, just did a KEXP session, focused mainly on the new songs.

Meanwhile, I’ve been listening to their new album a lot. I wasn’t too certain about it at first and thought I’d stick to the prior single songs that had hit the internet already, but it’s been an album to turn on at track one and leave be until it’s over and suddenly I’m listening to Genghis Tron now for some reason – oh, right, because they were the next band in line.

Who knows if I’ll end up writing a year-end list, so I might as well do the typing here and now: this is somewhere in that as-yet imaginary shortlist. Kind of funny that I’ve been switching back and forth between heavy blues-based stoner rock with acoustic sensibilities at the same time as glass-shattering apocalyptic meltdowns, but I’ve always been one for contrasts and variety. All the same, ATW is clearly good at that songwriting thing. Love the depth of warmth in their sound, even with the sad tone of the lyrics.

I meant to type about specific songs when I started that paragraph but I don’t know where to start, and now I think maybe that top-whatever list is going to be necessary so I have more time to sort out what’s what and get it all out in words.

Since I just typed about Genghis Tron, I suppose they’re next. Really liked “I Am All“, especially the visual and superficial familiarity to Nine Inch Nails. Getting past that song has been a struggle. It may very well be that I need to return to this in a more centered headspace, when I’ve got 30-40 minutes of attention span queued up to wander through the album without distractions. Or maybe I quit and move on and allow its songs to shuffle back to me.

Same goes for Slift. The want is there but my brain takes a vacation after a few minutes and I can’t force it back. I liked “A Storm of Wings” enough on contact that, again, I think it’s a matter of finding the headspace.

Converge‘s second album this year hasn’t been given enough time, either. It’s coming. I’m still playing the first one. It’s become one of those things where I thought I was going to attention-span myself off somewhere else when it didn’t immediately work for me one song at a time and instead I’m listening to it in full or in sections. That seems to be waning so the second album should get its time soon.

Witchcraft technically released two albums recently, and after Sinner’s Child settled in, I’ve since returned to Idag. Not sure what’s being said in the Swedish songs, but musically they’re hitting the spot in a way they haven’t for almost 20 years. Maybe it’s the partial return to the fuzzy low-fi sound they originally had? I’m not in the mood for analyzing if that’s true or not. In any case, we all know I like certain shades of doom seeing as how I haven’t shut the fuck up about it these past two decades, so, it stands to reason I’d get stuck here.

I made a joke about this year actually being 2006, and the universe delivered a Placebo remake album at me for its 30th anniversary. Maybe that’s 4-5 years late for my listening habits and ten from relevance, but yeah. So many old things returning these days.

I heard Placebo for the first time sometime around later 1999 after an internet friend briefly had the username “nancy boy” and I asked why. His enthusiasm infected a mutual friend who threw “My Sweet Prince” and a remix of “Every You Every Me” at me. I was not one for the gentleness of the first song, and I was annoyed with trance/rave/dance kids who lacked in the social depth and book intelligence department, so those weren’t the best choices. Another year or so later I returned and went ham on their discography. Spring 2002 was all Placebo all the time. Then they released Sleeping With Ghosts in 2003, and yes, I relate. Turns out I’m actually a sap and I was just being 17 at 17.

What I remember about listening to the first Placebo album songs is thinking about it in the same headspace as Hedwig and the Angry Inch and the Eddie Izzard stand-up special. There’s a specific idea that comes from “Nancy Boy” of lusting after the next person or substance trying to fill a void that can’t be filled, but I twisted the title and some of the lyrics and thought of the many ways I didn’t carefully adhere to gender myself and got treated like a pretentious asshole or a secretive bitch because I didn’t want to play that game. What do you mean you don’t have a crush, every girl has a crush, boys are all of everything ever, bow down your head and pick an adequately peacocking masculine ego to subserviate yourself to ASAP. And then when I fucked up and picked someone who was invisible or feminine: NO NOT LIKE THAT, all your choices must be screened and tediously controlled because the aim is We Are All Only Wife. You Can Never Choose Yourself Here. And so I spent more time around people who I’d think would have naturally understood because they were sexually adventurous or socially open on the surface, only for them to pull similar culty bullshit in persistent fear of individuality. It’s not exactly what the song is about, but in 1996 (or 2002) a guy wearing makeup was a big deal and it’s where the brain went.

I sometimes take surveys for money, nevermind everyday forms, and those things nearly always ask for your gender. So many times I’ve seen the options listed as “Woman, Man” and my immediate inclination is to want to find the “Modern Monkey” and “Just Another Happy Junkie” options. They’re never there. What kind of fucking survey is this? It’s wild how much that one song has infected my thoughts. What kind of mood is it? Alcoholic. You’d think I agreed with the sentiment and would have started up a pill habit or something by now, but nope. Just words, forever at the ready to be like “HEY YOU HAVEN’T LISTENED TO NANCY BOY THIS WEEK.”

Did they need to release versions of their old songs? Probably not, musically speaking. But it drums up hype about their 30+ year history and gets new people listening to them, so, I suppose it’s effective. Certainly got me typing paragraphs when it could have been just one. It also could have been ten more.

Speaking of 30 years ago, you know what I forgot to talk about last time I did one of these mass-music posts? KARP. I was abusing “Spelling Trouble” a few months ago. Guess it’s to fill in the gap where the Big Business could be but mysteriously isn’t. Well, it’s not a mystery that one of them has seemed busy with High on Fire, but they haven’t released new music in a good long while now and one wonders what the hell. In the interim, all the music Big Biz and KARP released still exists, and why not go through another phase with it all? Why not go watch that KARP documentary for the first time since it originally came out? No. We must have limits. Novelty awaits.

And speaking of killing all the redneck pricks, Buzzard just released an EP the other day called Hillbilly Fuckery. It’s prescient to the current US situation but my mind goes right to high school, of nicknaming my city Hickville because of the one-eye-closed middle class conservative vibes I got mixed with the “yeehaw, look at mah truck” from the cowboy hat-wearing turds that peppered the school parking lot. Teenage me would have loved this song, all those “what the fuck” clips included. I understand the guy from Buzzard had a wake-up moment and you can read it in the lyrics of the title song. I could argue acting like a fucking dumbass idiot is what being young is all about, but the issue is really that a lot of these people never fully grow up and become public cartoon characters pushed as sensible, empathetic, intelligent people when they’re emotionally somewhere around 1st grade and agents of needless chaos for their exhausted guardians. Can’t wait for that obituary.

You want more actual novelty? I was listening to Pixel Grip a lot a month or two ago. For a minute there I thought “Stamina” was going to be it for me, but I ended up replaying “Insignificant” like it was my job. It’s not the most fair comparison, but if you like “Closer”-era Nine Inch Nails, you’ll get something out of them. Their gothy vampyric aesthetic reminds me of watching True Blood. I went back and gave their 2019 album a skim-through and it’s more poppy.

While jogging my memory for bands Pixel Grip might be related to, Combichrist popped up as far as their current aesthetic. Sonically, don’t know about that, but certainly the leathery goth makes abrasive electronic music idea. That band has returned with “Only Here For A Good Time“. It sounds like earlier Combichrist for sure.

How’s about another KEXP-found band: Gurriers. The first song of their set, “Des Goblin”, goodness. Way to remind me that good music just keeps happening. The first comparable band that comes to mind is Idles but my actual first thought is how they might have fit on Eolian Empire back when that existed. Either way, attention grabbed.

I already mentioned “Peaches” at the last big update, and since then Rickshaw Billie’s Burger Patrol has released an EP, The Disappearing Man. “Bough Down” is reminding me of Weezer… which seems to be happening a lot this past year or so. Something in the air. They acknowledged the idea in the EP text, in any case.

That thought got me thinking of “Buddy Holly” and how I have 50s rock revival on my 2026 bingo card. So far no dice. Maybe I’m a few years too early. Maybe.. I’m, I dunno, five years… ahead… of my time…? 🙁 Anyway, actual Weezer totally released a new song in advance of their upcoming album, too. Weirdly, they nearly put it out on my birthday.

I am required, because I have called them Doom Weezer, to talk about Slomosa now. Here’s yet another recent KEXP performance vid:

They also did Silver Cord Studio, released a month earlier. I mused at the time that even if I had never followed the bunny trail from one band to the next where I ended up listening to stoner rock then doom by habit, I would have found it anyway through Gojira promoting Slomosa here.

And while we’re following trails, Gojira put out their own Silver Cord video, and I’ll be, it’s like those songs were just written for how effective they come across on this video. Way to take me back to listening to these songs for the first time. If you have even the slightest inkling that you could enjoy progressive metal, watch this. It’s 20 minutes of your life, and I believe in you. Maybe at this point Gojira doesn’t need new fans given they have literal flying whale budget now, but I’d be a jerk for not sharing something this true-to-definition awesome. Protect these hippies at all costs.

I’m going to guess you need a light breather after that, so have another KEXP find: Gelli Haha. The whole performance hit me right in the whimsy, but the second song “Spit” took the cake for me. With all that careful choreography and the overall fantastical parachute day meets kids birthday party aesthetic that also comes across in their music videos, I’m curious to find out where they’re going to go from here.

Too much whimsy but not enough sparkle? How about Lady Gaga and Doechii honoring RuPaul? You better werk. What horrors I live that none of the comments on this video mention RuPaul as source material. These kids. My lawn.

Alright, let’s acknowledge it.

Sleep – or, really, Al – surprised us all a few weeks ago with a confusing continuation of their name via “Have Spacesuit Will Travel“. One hopes it’s an early release for something that sounds like, I dunno, Sleep. I also wonder why this as opposed to finally putting out new OM. Is it because the fanboys gravitate to $leep more? The lyrics? Did something happen with future presidential candidate Matt Pike? Whatever the case, it happened, and I guess now we have a tour coming, and I’m confused.

As little side story, in December I did a quick tarot thing for the year 2026. I used my own self-created deck (which is just song lyrics) to describe select periods of time. For the time that I saw Oranssi Pazuzu I got one of their songs, and for the summer of 2026 I got “the pterodactyl flies again”. I never would have thought Sleep would have come up this year, so it feels somewhat remarkable that I got those two bands in a row like that. Fall is a Tool song, so… guess we’ll see.

Chat Pile has returned to wail into the abyss about the terror of living in Oklahoma again.

The lyrics of the song immediately made me think of I Saw The TV Glow then the reported transgender experience prior to coming out. I don’t think the video itself scratches the same itch, but certainly anyone wearing a costume in public to get through the day will relate.

Best new cover art of 2026? Mr Bison (click the link to see it, I haven’t figured out Bandcamp embeds yet). And way to take me back to psychedelic stoner rock and remind me, for all these paths and side quests, I still have a home base. Here’s new song “Cosmic Tide”:

Also familiars, Steak released “Cometh” and “Luxury Junk” recently, both in advance of a not-yet-released album. Easy to guess that’s what I’ll be doing presumably this fall.

Speaking of autumnal stonering, King Buffalo threatened with a potential release near October? Halloween? One of those. For anyone who reads this and doesn’t know any better, that’s a fun way of saying I’ll probably be listening to King Buffalo 24/7 again in 2027. I wish to be Excite but right now my forefinger hurts from typing up this post for the last three days and I have big life stuff coming up between now and then. But I will be quite Excite then, I will.

Russian Circles has returned! I never would have guessed when I first heard them back in 2007 that they’d ever doooooooom this hard. Just straight up, fuck you, dad! I’ve been to your house and I’ll fucking punch you in the face! Ha ha, the title. I take it it’s ironic. But yeah. When did they get so dark and heavy? I would ask why, but we already know. Perhaps another possible reason for that title, empath-izing with shitty shitness coming from the powers that be. … It’s so good, I’m going to listen to it twice. Love you, RC.

Is this a good spot for Beastie Boys? The “fuck you, dad” vibe was strong with them in the 80s. I ended up watching “No Sleep Till Brooklyn” the other day (thanks, Heardle!). I can’t remember the last time, but I’m sure I was still young enough when it happened that the Beastie Boys came across like adults I needed to be afraid of. Now it’s like, aww, they so cute. The humor in this video must have been fantastic at the time (also now, but especially at the time). 100% reminds me of something Whitey McConnaughy might have made since “Prehistoric Dog“. Totally makes sense now with the constant plays of “Sabotage” annoying the shit out of me as a kid/teen.

Another one from the 80s that Heardle reminded me to listen to: Spaceman 3 – “Losing Touch With My Mind“. I don’t know if I’ve ever heard it before or not, but it has a familiarity to it. For my history, I think of Monster Magnet going off the deep end.

Backtracking to the last music post, I’ve already mentioned the NIN + Boys Noize album, and from that I learned that “Memorabilia” was actually a Soft Cell cover. I don’t know how I managed a blind spot this bad, but so it goes. Naturally, the original song rules just as much as the covers. Got me thinking a lot about beauty and fashion changing throughout time because I would never imagine someone with that hat with a surname Ecstasy.

Charli XCX pouring water over a white shirt, though? That I’d have imagined.

The comments on this video are hilarious. “that’s what ovulation feels like” killed me. IS THAT A PORN?! This would be a good spot to type fifteen paragraphs about sexuality and social expectations that come from the perception of sexuality (or lack thereof) but today is not the day. I’ll just say, I get it.

She mentions shopping at a store I’ve never heard of, “APC”, and this feels like the right time to talk about friggin’ APC. Have I musically moved on from A Perfect Circle yet? Don’t know, but I saved the link long enough to post it here, so I guess maybe not.

Well holy shit, I just saw Tricky uploaded something about two weeks ago. The dual vocals in the beginning are a bit creepy but it’s an easy song. New album in a few days? Will do.

I have other things sitting in queue, but I will end here: fucking riot grrrl is returning! I don’t think I’ve been so happy to be screeched at by someone doing a mean Kathleen Hanna impression. Yes please, let us do electroclash again. Fashion Tips:

Not yet released and next on my menu: the new REZN comes out in about ten days, Graveyard is releasing music later this year, and Stabbing Westward has remade Wither Blister Burn + Peel for its 30th anniversary. Hope there’s some fun sarcastic commentary about being a mopey youth thrown in there.

And that concludes today’s vanity.

Some Kind of Mastodoodle

alienhaus

I’ve had Mastodon stuck in my head for the last two days. Why? Because I watched this:

To cut to the chase, Mastodon lost me at Crack The Skye. My breed of aesthetic ADHD couldn’t handle too much wandering prog as with that album, and seeing them live during that era felt like I was watching an entirely different band from the one I had seen during Blood Mountain. I remember watching them do Crackey in full live and being increasingly frustrated at how bored I was – at least, until they closed the night with “Mother Puncher” and “The Bit”, both in stark contrast to what came before. For that, I continued to have hope that maybe someday they’d eventually return to the sort of music that appealed to me like Leviathan and Remission did.

It’s now been over 17 years since Crackey. My inclination has been to assume Brent Hinds was the main issue, as if he had a stranglehold on why their sound had shifted past temporary choices of a single album. But there are other grown adults in that band, and they just kept on keepin’ on. It can’t really be just one person dragging the rest down, can it? I eventually resigned to sticking to their earlier albums and focusing on what I know works for me. I don’t think I touched their last album at all.

Hearing that they parted ways with him was, like, finally?! Color my attention piqued. New blood doesn’t always mean a shift in sound, but hope had once again been restored. I’m still looking forward to hearing how this change has affected their overall sound.

And then he died. Just like that*. My inclination is to think of my dad, my sibling, my other sibling’s dad, and a former client, all of whom died or nearly died while riding motorcycles. Seems like it’s just a given with US car culture and related arrogance that one shouldn’t be riding anywhere near cars or ride exclusively within groups. Maybe that sounds victim-blaming or something. Hopefully it pushed some riders to remember to ride defensively, at least.

* I had Insane Clown Posse go through my mind. It’s a track about dying out of nowhere. The next song on that album was a bit much for teenage me.

ICP distraction aside, I’ve been finding some levity in how similar Mastodon’s trajectory has mirrored Metallica’s history. The documentary vid above took me right back to Some Kind of Monster, and wow. I made jokes about them making a sappy video like this years ago. And it happened. Fucking psychic! Not really. It just seems to be a pattern. Do you think they auditioned Scott Reeder? That’s a joke, kids.

Throwing stuff on the table like this still feels appropriate, anyway. I’m sure it saves them hours of frustrating interviews answering the same basic questions about it. It means getting where they’ve been for the last year or two out into the open and moving on from this moment that much quicker. It also means clarity for everyone (aka me) who was wondering what happened circa Crackey and why there hasn’t been sufficient recovery since. An unfun little “it’s not just you” confirmation, I suppose.

Still curious what’s next, past the grief of the moment. But, for today, I get to battle these old earworms.

Hell, might as well make more and go listen to “Where Strides the Behemoth” then sit in silence for a bit. Quiet Brain: “who cares where it strides, it needs to keep going, PLAY IT AGAIN!”

Anyway, remember to seize the day, embrace joy, pet your stupid pets, love your stupid love, and not linger too long doing things that make shit suck.

The next music post is going to be the usual unfocused general update.

Edit, one day later:

Well, that was quick.

Bonus QOTSA guy.

Their new album is out August 28th.

Words about Oranssi (but mostly about life)

alienhaus

Literally no one has visited this still-new site yet unless said visitor was using some weird anti-tracking thing I didn’t know was possible during a time when most people have been stuck in walled algorithmic gardens so long they forgot the internet experience was supposed to be choose your own adventure, so much of these words feel in vain, but if you’re here and you just want it quick: I am biased when it comes to this band but, if this band interests you at all, this is your sign to see them live. That’s it, you don’t need to read any further.

Oranssi Pazuzu played Roadburn in 2025. While live video is not usually the best choice to experience music, I usually check in on Roadburn-specific sets, and I checked in on theirs.

I started to type words about it then (the first paragraph below) but inspiration hit me mid-thought. I could have let it be, but it’s hard to let all that satanic vibe alone. Writers gonna write. Unedited beyond adding the link, this is what came out:

That live interpretation of “Valotus” (~22-31 mins of this video) is something. It’s jarring on album. Would imagine hearing it for the first time live is very “???”. “Is this what it’s like to be in a scanner?” says guy on second-day acid before printing a TPS report from his maw.

…and it’s just pages and pages of “666 666 666…”

…

Jeff begins to panic, embarrassed at his local interruption of social decorum, and tries to grasp the papers that spill from his face. They float through his hands, glimmering in the strobing lights as gravity and the force of 3000 breaths seem to take them… but they are not real to anyone but him, and Jeff unintentionally slaps the back of a patron in front of him. Oh. Oh. Sorry! I’m sorry. More 666-filled papers fall between words. “MOTORHEAD” back patch turns, wondering what the fuck is going on behind him. I’m so sorry. Paper. Another paper. Motorhead nods and rolls his head back to the stage. Oranssi full-body screams something about planting native trees and giving your mom a call in Finnish, probably. Jeff’s face burns from the horror of having become satan’s xerox machine in public again. He wonders, should I just leave? Someone taps him on the shoulder. “You okay?” he hears, but he’s afraid to look. He already knows it’s a trap. This is just like the last time. He throws his eyes to the floor with urgency, curling his chin down and stopping the paper factory. Don’t you dare. “You need some water, man?” Don’t fucking do it. Stare at the floor. Stare at the floor. Motorhead’s shoes shift their weight over an imaginary paper. “Come on, let’s get you some water…” the taunting voice continues, pulling his sleeve. No, I’m fine! Jeff’s reaction to the stranger’s touch is enough to pull his eyes to the right, where The Creature promptly demands the full force of his attention, fully against Jeff’s former will. Taking but the briefest pause of victory, It then cracks Its own mouth open, burning Jeff in cruel sonic light. Motorhead nonchalantly wipes a bit of sudden sweat from his temple as Jeff’s soul is taken, raped from his body, pulled into the blinding white void. Everyone continues staring at the stage, unaware of the trick they’d just been played, and Oranssi whisper-yells something about the importance of separating your recycling, probably, sending a wink in the direction of The Creature.

I (finally?) saw them live, and I’ll be, it’s almost like I speak Finnish.

My subconscious mind caught “Valotus” way before my conscious mind woke up to its arrival. I know because my mood shifted from I Am Present, Yes, to “teehee, side… effects” after noticing that the main noise on stage was coming from the keyboards on the sides of the stage. The song then began to build into something recognizable, and even for my inability to tell you exactly what I’d heard so far even though it was all quite familiar to the point of wondering if it was a best-of set that specifically targeted me, my conscious brain suddenly woke up: “oh! Satan is coming to take our souls!”

And so it was delivered. All the prior thought trails about wondering if they’d even be allowed in the US mixed with “it’s pretty funny that they let them in, this music sounding as it does, at a time like this in this country” and flipped around to “I wonder if people walking by on the street think this venue is having a very loud exorcism.” The smirks. The giggles. Am I the only one who finds pseudo-satanic things hilarious? No, but yeah… All that christian-based brainwashing I witnessed and being bullied for saying the F-word and having normal human boundaries I was willing to fight for circa age 8 onward really makes one appreciate some theatrical devil worshiping. Hey look, it’s me on a Tuesday, according to the uptight, misogynistic, control freak fuckwads of yore. I’m here for the sonically violent soul ascension.

Is the song, or any other, actually about these concepts? I couldn’t say. Even translating the lyrics, hmm, well, there’s a horror meets sci-fi vibe there, but it’s not saying what comes to mind first. The vocals and feel of the music come across as dark, brooding, lost in space stuck with an indescribable monster on the ship, sick in a way that will never heal. What’s literally being said is similar to that, even if not exact. But the presentation, the sound of the music itself, takes me to the source of their name, of devils and demons and otherworldly creatures, and hmm, not sure it’s there in those words.

Right away I was a bit thrown by how black metal-forward they were live. The music on album is still like a wall of sound and chaotic, sure, but is produced with more of the detailed psychedelic sounds pushed in view. It was harder to hear the shifts I do at home that cue the song is changing direction. I borderline abused their 2020 album, Mestarin Kynsi, and have listened to the newest one enough in recent times, so it was odd that I wasn’t always able to keep track of where I was in the song live and essentially be told how much my brain has latched on to keys over other instruments. For my history of making fun of keyboards on stage (old timer note: their soundcheck was an entirely reasonable time! holy shit! professionalism is neat!), that was a strange realization. On stage all were prominent, visible, heard, but eyes usually went to guitars and vocals. Once I realized this was how it was going to be, lol bye brain, no bouncy ball to follow along for you, we’re just going for this ride. I kept no notes, took no photos, closed the door on trying to figure anything out, and it was what it was.

This is what setlist.fm says they played:

Bioalkemisti
Muuntautuja
Kuulen ääniä maan alta
Uusi teknokratia
Voitelu
Hautatuuli
Valotus
Ikikäärme
Oikeamielisten sali
Vasemman käden hierarkia

The final song was an encore. I went on a complete mental vacation and could not place it. Was this old or new? It felt vaguely familiar, but it should. Yes, I see, 17 minute runtime, no wonder my synapses stopped firing placement on this one. Part of me wants to blame age or a decade suffering consequences, but I’m pretty sure even an enthusiastic 25 year old me would have been resistant on that much song, and 15 year old me would have wondered what was wrong with “music” people, unaware I’d become the thing. Was it 17 minutes live? It was a while for sure. Have I said it was cool yet? Like people interested in Oranssi Pazuzu need to be told what’s is or isn’t cool… Who cares? Sir and/or ma’am, my soul got eated by The Creature today, that’s good enough.

Behind the scenes (this is a good spot for you impatient “I thought this was a review, not a diary!” types to heed the first paragraph and leave), this was the first live music I’ve seen in actual person in a very long time. The last band I saw in person was High on Fire. I still remember that show as being fantastic, and it’s carried through the void of cruel dementia, my cat dying, the pandemic, my health going to shit, my mom dying, near-miss homelessness, narcissistic spirit-stomping men, all the way through the other side of much tedious life noise I’m so fucking sick of dealing with. Once I’d moved even further from the source, I didn’t know if I’d ever see a show again. Was this facet of my life just plain over and I was in denial? Who the fuck am I even, without it? I’d get to thinking and remember things like when I had to miss Heilung because of my mom, after missing so much already because of that situation getting worse and worse, and then the pandemic happened and what now? I already thoroughly distrusted humanity before this ever turned into diseases and politics; I can’t do it, y’all. I got offers to join humanity again, but I knew coming back wasn’t going to be on anyone else’s terms, anyone else’s idea. My schedule, my body, and my ability to deal with myself and the world on whichever specific day would have to tell me what the fuck and when the fuck.

There were a few “that makes sense” moments to return, but only just recently did I have an inkling that it would be this band. I knew it was different – not a hopeful mirage – when I prepared my bag and checked to make sure I had earplugs and they weren’t expired. Never made it all the way to earplugs before (I always kept a few in my bag back-when). But I couldn’t be sure. I’ve had anxiety attacks before shows I never went to before, and who’s to say how much that just had to do with my life then. Maybe if I got dressed and conquered all to even leave the house, I’d change my mind on the way there and end up someplace else. Maybe I’d wake up with yet another brutal headache. I’m going through it hormonally these days and that could surprise me in some new fashion. Hell, I haven’t had a series of hot flashes or one of the intense ones in several days, which is really fucking weird considering the onslaught just prior, and quite telling that hormones have kicked back into gear and period is on its way. Hey bitch, you’re months fucking late. Hmm, this would be a fun place for an immaculate conception joke tied in with all that 666 talk upstairs, but the real joke here is that I’m already (low growl) satan (devil horns) (drinks ancient wine) (leather jacket cracks) (grimace) so no Rosemary’s Baby situation for me. But it’s certainly a christmas miracle I did all I needed to do, wasn’t suffering beyond the usual terrible anxiety, left the house, and arrived where I meant to be.

One then asks if, after all this time, it was worth it. It’s hard, for my history, to drum up hype about these things the way someone who’d only been to three concerts in their life before might. I also didn’t know who Oranssi was until they became a client in 2018 and wasn’t able to really put in the effort to listen to them until the 2020 album, so I don’t have a potential of decades of history there to cause a nostalgic conniption the way I might for, I dunno, Tool? And then there’s just me anymore, which maybe could be changing or maybe me crying every time someone talks about the lunar flyby is a fluke. A month ago we went to the moon, you guys!!! There was an eclipse and you could see a bunch of planets from the dark side and then we came back and everything was so cool and omfg!!!! And we’re going again! I see I can, in fact, experience untainted wonder and joy this decade. The glimmer of hope for the future is still there. It is still possible to achieve a positive mental state about a thing and maintain it longer than five minutes. But getting excited about live music stuff is still a lot more of a journey than it was a decade or two previous. I now know my back is going to hurt 10 minutes in, and my legs are going to go soon after, and the headache that comes on during and/or after (this time: both), and the fucking lights I made fun of in my prose, and crowds, and venues, and what time when where what, and the literal journey there and back that is longer and more expensive than it ever was. I’m in awe that some people within my scene somehow manage to attend multiple shows a week sandwiched between long and tedious journeys to get there and back. WTF do you mean you didn’t eat or sleep today, TOO? AND you partook in whatever festivities?! Meanwhile if I don’t get 7 hours and at least 400 calories before I leave the house to simply check the mail, lol f u enjoy your punishment. And count tomorrow out, no plans, just recovery. What did I even do? Nothing. Existed. Two days after the show I woke up with another multi-hour headache, because that’s what I get for trying.

But the question was: was it worth it? To watch their vocalist scream into the crowd as “Valotus” hit its peak moment? Yes. Yes it was. Whether this is truly the end of years of frustrated setting-aside of live music or just another moment in time isn’t yet clear and won’t be for probably another year, but boy did that single moment wrap up my absence nicely. I ended 2020 raving about this band and nearly a quarter turn of Saturn later I got to see the results.

I’m sorry, I’ve made it serious. I swear I was stifling out-of-place glee through that whole song and thinking of none of this short of the expected upcoming glass-breaking soul ascension.

Of course Winamp just threw music at me to remind me about having a laugh attack the first time I gave a certain band we’re not supposed to forget a chance. Other, similar memories come to mind. I seem to have a history of laughing at aggressively serious things. I was just thinking of a time I saw said band at Satyricon the other day, of hitting glee state and on the way out being perplexed at a mysterious white powder on a toilet seat. I wondered if it was cocaine, and if so, who the fuck wastes that much cocaine? Besides Elizabeth Wurtzel and QOTSA, I know nothing of these things, but I do know these things cost money. One can’t really explain those Satyricon bathrooms, though. Perhaps the former tenant really needed to baby powder their crotch at 1am. Alas, Star Theater rivals with its incredibly moist seats and floors, eventually punctuated with in-toilet blood while I’m like, well, guess that tracks, given the exorcism I just witnessed. Sign outside door: This isn’t your mom’s house. Please take your miscarriage with you, Susan. And now toilet blood is amusing.

Oh, I forgot to say that I took the earplugs out. I had them in for Wayfarer but the pros and cons added up towards more pros of hearing the room as-is without them. Maybe the wrong move for the number of times I got pierced in the ear with shrill noise, but for all the time of nothing live at all and me already knowing ASL, fuck it. Whatever frequency I might have lost I probably already lost a long time ago.

Current state of ears: hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. DAE tinnitus?

Before I wrap, I should return to the “peopling” thought I almost touched on then skipped past. The best way to put this is that I am historically a 9pm to 6am shopper because I can in no way emotionally deal with the horrors of a grocery store during business hours. I will absolutely take a couple of stray weirdos and startling raccoons on my walk home over anyplace jam-packed with people asleep standing up. I don’t have the patience. It’s overwhelming. I can’t focus. I get so mad. I return home irritated, frustrated, anxious, on edge, burnt out, and probably pissed off that I’ll have to do it again. It’s hard to forget since it’s a forever issue, but I got so used to the relative quiet of my new location that somehow I didn’t know it was a bad idea to visit a busy shopping center at 2pm last year, and what a reminder. No wonder I’d listen to Conan on volume 11 before I’d have to leave the house that one year. No wonder I couldn’t sleep after work when I was a server.

I reflect back to all the crowds of my concert history and wonder where the mad is. It’s mostly a lot of “welp, that’s what I get for not being six inches taller”. Maybe the mad is twisted into just plain nervous anxiety, as I do remember my sleep schedule always getting destroyed by concerts since I couldn’t sleep until past dawn nearly every time even if I went to bed by midnight the nights before. But AT the show? Since I learned I was firmly in camp metalhead and stopped trying to push through “nicer” music that is populated by assholes, people themselves largely haven’t bothered me. There’s a routine of the thing, unsaid expectations of behavior, most people here “get it”, and it feels right and fine. Someone eight feet tall stood in front of me, oh, well, it’s a doom show, everyone here is eight feet tall but me, shoulda fought for the front if I wanted to see. There’s only been a few times I’ve gotten irritated at crowds, and really, it’s more about individuals than the fact that the crowd exists.

I was still worried. With the previous humans-at-2pm trips I’ve taken causing my knitting to unravel mixed in with frustration about specific people I’ve known up close near this scene, I was expecting to find the whole crowd thing an unwanted experience. And yes, it still sucks I’m shorter than the average patron. But the crowd experience was just… yes, and? Okay? Why was I worried about this? How did I not know it would be fine? Evidently going too long caused some of those shapeless cosmic beings to appear real. To be fair, I’ve met some difficult individuals here, but I more or less know what their ilk looks like and can choose not to engage. But lately I’d rather not even have the potential. Alas, not a single one was present. It felt much more like it was for me towards the beginning of my journey, when I was an anonymous, faceless blob in the crowd. Thank fuck. I know I didn’t press the hard reset button here – I definitely have advantages I didn’t have 20 years ago – but enough distance seems to have been good for the ol’ tension.

And the crowd itself was like it always was, give or take the details. Hyoo-mans doing the hyoo-man thing. I knew the show would sell out the day beforehand when I checked to see ticket numbers, which it did early in the day, and I knowingly endured like always with these things. It was great for the band and added up to a “nothing” for me on a personal level.

With that knowledge out of the way, maybe that means I have one less thing causing mental chaos so I can get to another live thing sooner rather than later. I don’t know what that is, couldn’t even hazard a guess right now with my unpredictable health situation, but I’d love to be able to get back to these types of experiences being the norm rather than the exception. Here’s hoping that $5.50 gas price (WTF) goes away by the time I get there.

With me finishing this post almost two days later, I’m feeling tired, my finger is fucking killing me, and I’m burnt out on myself here and wondering if this even worth posting at all. But I did the thing. I’m glad to know that the past six or so years of listening to this band probably a bit too much will likely continue and hope their tour onward provides a tiny outlet that many of us darkly creative ‘muricans need these days.

Bonus factoid: I made the mistake of telling someone I saw a live band and the “what band?” question led to this post. What clarity other people’s unintentional ignorance gives us sometimes.

I got what I deserved.

alienhaus

It’s never more clear how me and others aren’t speaking the same language when, after I’ve talked about a work band as kindly as I can for their benefit, they return discussing Foo Fighters. It’s like the many times I’ve talked about metal being my music genre of choice to keep it simple and gotten “do you know Enter Sandman?” back. If I agree, are you going to sing it for me anyway? Of course you are.

What a reminder of why people in this scene signal to each other with band shirts. Ah, great, I know you’ve heard music since 1997 and I can pull from the adult dictionary to discuss these things with you.

Speaking of poor art education, this reminded me of striking in middle school because they were going to permanently close the art and shop classes the next year. I was in shop and thought that was stupid as hell. The school had a large-for-Portland non-white and “low income” population so pretty sure that’s what’s what there. Who cares about them poors. Gotta teach ’em bare minimum factoids so they’re good and easily disposable workers, not creative thinkers. Got no use for that in got-mine-fuck-you capitalism.

I’m not asking for folks to care about my subgenres of choice, but the fact that they immediately reach for arena bands that are 30+ (if not 40, 50+) years old to play along with whatever they think I said is telling that music is not that important to them. Doubly so when it comes with the additional outdated packages about misogynistic things, devil worship, mistaking blackclad individuals as goth, et al.

I really should stop feeling slow on the draw when I finally listen to an album two years after it came out.

And this is why we talk to everyone. The emotional disappointment in the responses of us gingerly being ourselves is the wake-up call we need. Oh, right, I’m a fucking judgmental asshole and I belong among my peers, thanks, thanks for the reminder.

Still confused why Foo Fighters is getting the press and push it is lately given the news that came from their camp not so long ago. I don’t even hate them. Their music is largely innocuous at this point. It’s just… wtf? Seems like it’s signaling who their core audience is. Hey kids, shiny new object! *dangles keys*

Anyway, that’s what I get for using the phrase “psychedelic black metal” on a normie. I guess I’ll have to recover from these horrors by go listening to said psychedelic black metal. Screams from the cosmic void: yes, exactly, you get it!

I was actually listening to Peaches in that last paragraph. That’s a whole ‘nother can of worms. Can of Peaches? Too on the nose. D-, see me after class (bring Sliquid).

Astrology update: it’s hilarious to me that my mind went to school. I have Saturn sextile my Mercury-in-9th exact today.

noize!

alienhaus

As much as I don’t feel done setting up shop here, I’ve had to put off writing about the music of this year so far too many times now and more keeps coming. I’ll just make a list and preserve the single-album typing olympics for December.

January

Ella Red – It’s Not Real: Catching a clip of “He Asked For It” last year sold me. The 4-song run between that and “Aphrodite” has been a favorite this year. If you have any tolerance for pop rock, especially with a feminist if not a bit sapphic tone, do the thing. It’s committing all the known musical attributions to pop but a 90s-00s dance number, so comparisons feel flimsy, but Chappell Roan fans would probably like this.

February

Puscifer – Normal Isn’t: Given my history, it’s an easy guess that I would like this album at least a little bit, and that’s what I was expecting. A little. That I’d shrug at it. Turns out it hit album-of-the-year territory for me. There’s a lot of year left and it now has fair competition, but, for the past couple of months, this album has been played more than any other. I’ve had all of the songs stuck in my head. They definitely buried the lede with earlier released “Self Evident“. I don’t imagine current or former fans of the bands one would arrive to this one from give a shit about my opinion and likely prefer to go in without spoilers, so if for some reason you missed this, do the thing. But yes. If you like songs like “Jerk-Off” and “Ticks & Leeches” for their lyrical content, you’ll enjoy this one.

Converge – Love Is Not Enough: I’ve had better initial experiences with new Converge albums, but eventually this was working for me. The YOB moment on “Beyond Repair” got my attention, “Gilded Cage” has earworm potential, and the final track “We Were Never the Same” has become a favorite. The High On Fire-esque drumming on that last song against the heavy bass, *chefs kiss*. Even though I still feel like a Converge n00b nearly 20 years out from the first time I heard them, real glad Converge is still around.

Peaches – No Lube So Rude: Perhaps it goes without saying, but I fucking love Peaches. I was borderline anxious listening to her music for the first few years when I largely just had her Lost In Translation contribution stuck in my head, feeling the stark contrast between what she was singing about and what my experience of sexuality vs society actually looked like. But I got older, had more and different things going on and learned the world was even more backwards than I knew it before, and now I reflect back grateful she was there to create that tension and keep me on my toes. This album goes straight to the point talking about ageism from lyric one before curtailing to the usual witty sexual rap one fully expects from Peaches, and I hope I’m as fun and brazen when I’m 60. PS. I just watched the title song video, and holy shit. NSFW by all stretches of the imagination.

March

Witchcraft – A Sinner’s Child EP: Witchcraft just released an album, so this felt speedy, but I’d say it’s an easier, more concise version of where the band is right now – largely stripped down and a bit more Swedish than before. I saw a live thing they did here recently and it was a reminder of how “Queen of Bees” is one of the best songs of all time ever. I don’t have the date in front of me, but I think this year marks 20 years of listening to this band for me, and I’m glad to know Magnus is still Magnusing it up.

Ladytron – Paradises: This is the first album I’m typing about today that I haven’t listened to straight through (yet?). Ladytron is still providing some wonderful novelties but the album was too much for where I was when I went to hear it – perhaps it’ll make more sense to me when I’m in a less present, less scattered, more aimless Attention Kmart Shoppers mood. “I Believe In You” and “I See Red” have been individual stand-outs so far.

Neurosis – An Undying Love For A Burning World: My local internet freaked the fuck out about this surprise release. Most of us thought Neurosis was effectively dead after a certain former member was vacated from the band a few years ago for being a piece of shit, but it turns out they just needed a sprinkle of new magic from sludge whisperer Aaron Turner (with assistance from mister “distort everything” Scott Evans). I’m curious to know what the hell happened with their drummer between the selling of gear posts and this coming together. Regardless of who or what or when, the album is obviously a stand-out for this year. I’m not a Neurosis fanboy but I was in tears on listen one by the end. The three-song run starting with “Untethered” got me in my head about everything these last six years. “Last Light” is an incredible song. If you’re a long-time Neurosis meh-er, but you otherwise enjoy sludge, doom, and heavy prog, do the thing.

April

Angine de Poitrine: And speaking of internet phenomenons… this band caught a sudden wave of broad-reaching attention and now I have two new albums to ponder over. The brand new one came out in April, hence the headline it falls under. It’s strange to be familiar with a wide array of music over my life and not find their approach to musical creation all that interesting by itself while watching people freak out about the details. It’s very “dude what if Lateralus different order tho (bong rip)”. If you like weird and jazzy approaches to sound, or maybe you might say Primus sucks, or maybe you miss Battles, then you’ll get something out of this. The aesthetics are definitely attention-grabbing and the band & music feel fresh and fun, so yay. More rock-based phenomenons pls.

Nine Inch Noize: And here’s the album that finally got me to type these words. I checked and I posted the remix of “My Moon My Man” by Boys Noize (and Feist, originally) on the blog in 2008, which felt like a “that’s it?” situation given how “& Down” and “3 Bass” were on repeat that year. Fair enough, I was making attempts for novelties in my first full year writing exclusively about music. The fact is, now, I’m familiar with Boys Noize, and I’m beyond familiar with NIN, and this felt like a very logical collaboration. They got me with the “live”(?) sound at the beginning and otherwise dispersed through the album – I thought I’d fucked up somehow – but it’s a studio recording. Some of the 2000s-era songs could certainly use a refreshed take, so good for that. So far “Parasite” is my favorite (oh you mean the song with the prominent heavy bass? Who knew). My original notes here made jokes about “Closer” that were so detailed I’ve had this song stuck in my head for days but I think I need to save that for a time I can expand on the ridiculous idea I had. For now, this was fun, but familiarity with NIN cuts the dopamine effect of new stuff down a notch. Looking forward to eventually watching their Coachella sets.

Madonna: I got word last year that Madonna was creating “Confessions on a Dance Floor pt 2” according to my notes, and sure enough, her new song “I Feel So Free” (warning: flashing lights) very much reminds me of that era of her music. It also happens to be my favorite era, with the Confessions tour video being remarkable to the point of making me angry it didn’t come here and I might not have gone for what I was prioritizing in life at the time anyway. I noted the new song online and the next day I had a singular like from an unfamiliar account. I checked and it seems it was a like entirely in earnest by a bear account (read: lots of gay porn). That felt so incredibly appropriate. Exactly what I would have expected, had I considered it.

Rickshaw Billie’s Burger Patrol: “Peaches” (no relation) was put out today. Apparently it will be attached to an album later this year, but no official announcement of said album yet.

May and Beyond

Rhododendron (out 5/15): “Firmament” is available to hear now, and it was a reminder that I miss when I was super active and aware of what Portland had to offer. The video comments include a comparison to Russian Circles, which is fair. The other already-out song is more aggressive, and if we’re going there, maybe in the more recent “FUCK YOU, DAD!” era of Russian Circles. That’s not a comment on age, for the record, but one might focus on how young this band was fifteen minutes ago and wasn’t 1999 yesterday… but that’s an old people problem, I suppose. Glad to hear music like this is still happening from a younger-than-me generation. [PS. This is a band I technically work for by proxy so, you know, grain of salt.]

Monolord (out 5/29): Speaking of bands I technically work for, Monodork is still alive and kicking. “Yay?” I thought. Then I listened to “You Bastard” and the question mark subsided. I always seem to forget that I really, really enjoy heavy music. Finger in every pie but that damn cheesecake gets me every time. It’s hard to be this close to the source, seeing a band’s enthusiastic crowd, and balance all that noise against personal taste, but this breed of heavy is effectively my personal elevator music at the end of the day.

Elder (out 5/29): “Through Zero” can be heard today. I’m just now listening to it for the first time, and yep, that sounds like music. They’re going the way of Rush here. I think I just solved a mystery of why Elder’s fanbase is the way it is. Nuuuuurds! And now I feel unconvinced by my spurious statements here and will reflect for the next six months to no conclusion.

All Them Witches (also out 5/29): OMFG nobody panic. I haven’t even heard the thing and I already suspect this album is going to be a top-whatever favorite for this year. “Red Rocking Chair“? God damn. “Starting Line“? I mean you could just go, the whole environment is enthusiastic consent, no need for the pretense of a beginning. Then today’s “The Welterweight“? Sirs, I’m trying to write about other bands right now. Been really grateful for this band these past eight years or so, so, yes, looking forward to this one.

Slift (out 6/5): I made grand statements about Slift the second Ilion came out, so I’m primed for this new one. That moment in time was big in my personal life and it’s strange to conceptualize that the gap between albums will be an entirely reasonable two and a half years. I hope I’ve worked through enough of that moment in my life to be able to appreciate the new album freed of that time. For the moment, the internet seems intent on comparing “A Storm of Wings” to the Melvins, and it makes me wonder for how much the Melvins has changed over time if every loosely related song ever could ultimately be chalked up to a Melvins remix.

Converge (out 6/5): MOAR! You break those rules, Converge. “Hum of Hurt” is out now.

Genghis Tron (out 6/12): We seem to be going all-in on this year, musically. “I Am All” reeks of Nine Inch Nails even down to the way Trent Reznor handles a mic, but that’s fine. Love this style of video.

And also: Placebo, Muse, Modest Mouse, and The Strokes all have new things coming in June. What a year for the 35-50 year old “it’s not a phase, mom” crowd. Suddenly defunct Livejournal communities of yore awakened to the new fascist day.

And More

From the earlier part of the year, I still haven’t heard: Sunn O)))’s new album, the Melvins/Napalm Death album, Crippled Black Phoenix, Gnod… I have heard a little of Truckfighters but not enough to comment on it beyond the usual “yay stoner rock”. I’m eventually going to watch some of the live Roadburn videos from last week but I think this post is long enough.

From last year that took me time to get around to: Trash Classic by Frankie and The Witch Fingers. Who could have guessed “Conducting Experiments”, a song about sexual freedom and/or having threesomes (hard to tell, a man is singing about a FFM situation so could go either way), would be a favorite here for me. If I were inclined to dance in the first place I would dance the fuck out of that song. The heavy sarcasm on Devo-worshipping “Economy” is great, too.

And finally, from last year but I only just grazed: Die Spitz. I just watched “American Porn” and holy fucking shit, everything about that house feels like a fever dream version of the house I grew up in. Was it designed by the same architect or built by the same company or what the fuck? There’s too much green going on outside to assume they’re in the neighborhood I grew up in. Even the outdoor furniture reminds me of a table/chair set we had in the 90s from who-knows-where. Musically I’m reminded of the 90s, attention towards Hole and L7 (vibe) and Soundgarden (video), but there’s something else there I can’t pin down. “Riding With My Girls” is quite Motorhead-coded. I just heard “Throw Yourself To The Sword” and lol, with a title like that, who knew my first impression would be High on Fire? Be cool if they ended up on tour with the band The Sword just for my personal funsies. Imagine the awkward confusion of that crowd having to deal with the idea of 20-something ladies doing “their” thing better. Maybe it’s changed in the wake of bands like Castle Rat, but, hm, I dunno. The Sword’s fanbase is a special one.

Alright, that’s enough for today. I’m sure I missed something, but this is plenty for an update until the next thing happens. If you’re still here and want a dose of irony, literally yesterday I was reflecting on how I didn’t want to become what I see a lot of in the heavy music scene and doubly so in the circa 40+ non-musician crowds, of being very stuck in the mud and insistent on ideas that came about before 20-30 years ago like history makes greatness and not greatness makes history. Even for the abundance going on here, the variety still tends towards well-traveled paths. I’m trying to keep shit interesting, at least.